It’s time to think about self-transformation in a different way — Several years ago, I was on an academic fellowship and pretty sure I was failing at it. I’d envisioned myself getting to my office early every day, spending several hours virtuously writing, and then knocking off at 3 p.m. for a run. Instead, I was lying awake all night agonising…

And other notes on notes — There’s been a lot of critique going on lately about notes. My friend Rick and I talked about it a few months ago, and I’d been copying and pasting the links down in an Airtable record (Haha — not kidding though). I’ve written 1,000+ notecards at this point, at least…

Not too long ago, I received a note from a woman who had just returned to work after having her second child. While she had managed life with one baby quite well, juggling two little ones and a burgeoning workload was wearing her out. After a rough patch of limited…

The real benefit is measured in hours, not dollars — I’m not sure where this minimalist urge came from. I’ve always been more of a maximalist, as one glance at my bag collection (54 at last count) or my coffee-maker constellation (six, more or less) or my leather-notebook ensemble (don’t ask). Enough, I decided. This must stop. I know many…

Appreciating this makes it possible to enjoy friendships more — In any given relationship or group, there is always one person who makes things happen. Everyone says “hey, we should get together!” but this person finds a date and makes the restaurant reservation. After a family meet-up in a park, everyone says “we should do this again!” but this person…

The 3 principles I used to free myself from excess stuff without making it a burden on the planet — Moving house is one of the rare occasions in life when we are brought face to face with the reality of all our belongings — right down to the contents of the bottom kitchen drawer. After a few days of wrapping Ikea glasses and packing boxes, I was ready to…

Covert codependency keeps us connected by being the one that no one has to worry about — When you’ve been conditioned to never be a burden, having basic needs feels like you’re being ‘too much’. Perhaps you grew up with the experience that sharing your struggles wasn’t welcome. You learned that you were more acceptable or even safer if you kept your needs and emotions in check. …

A study at the famous Second City improv club in Chicago shows the benefits of purposely aiming for discomfort — When it comes to building athletic strength and resilience, a well-known phrase captures the process: “no pain, no gain.” That rhyming philosophy may apply to mental growth as much as muscle growth, according to research involving one of the world’s most famous comedy clubs, Second City in Chicago.

Raise the chances that when you do whatever you agreed to do, you’ll actually want to do it — Perhaps you’ve faced a dilemma like this. You’re in the middle of a busy week. You’re barely keeping your head above water. You need more hours, yet somehow, on Thursday morning, you see that you’ll be traveling downtown to your local conference center to participate in a panel on a…