1. |
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the age of running on fumes has ended
tireless tinder extinguished, cache spent
the ache in my jaw isn't mending itself
lie in the larynx, ash whispering through vents
this is a song about defeat
this is a song about defeat
this is nothing if not a song about defeat
between the hours between the hours between the empty hours
between the bitter hours i used to sleep through blissfully
i show the battlefield my back
i show the battlefield my teeth
because this is a song about defeat
this is a song about defeat
this is nothing if not a song about defeat
a planet made of ice is just a planet made of water
brave enough to hold the line
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2. |
CHAOS JUBILEE
02:21
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i pick up the phone
i put down the phone
i write you an email
one by one i delete every word
i walk around and talk about
what i said what i didn't what i should've
i lie in bed i think about
what i did what i wouldn't what i won't
but i haven't seen you since two thousand fifteen
now you've got a family and i don't know your kid's name
you're there and i'm here
i drive through your town
i leave without saying a word
i follow you on social media but
nothing good comes from social media
i lie in bed and think about
what i did what i didn't what i could've
i walk around i talk about
what i said what i wouldn't what i won't
but i haven't seen you since two thousand fifteen
now you've got a new life and you don't seem to miss me
maybe i should've been kinder to james
maybe i shouldn't be so quick to change
maybe the bus to the border was one way
maybe i'm taking too much of the blame
maybe the lesson is learning to change
and letting the signals that drift out of range
blend with the static that fills up the night
and at certain times is mistaken for light
you're there and i'm here etc.
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3. |
YOU HEARD
02:29
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this is a lonely dispatch from your garden
that you have not watered since it started raining
things are growing well, you heard
this wasn't hardly the season for sowing
but all that you've planted keeps toiling for knowing
some sign of summer's long hot calm
where for confusion of soil and intentions
anger not answered in human dimensions is
worm food or dear earth's core
this is a lowly outcry from your garden
that recalls the shape of your shadow and bare feet
can't you stand to bear that weight?
what life has burrowed is hopeful and harried
no storm's worth of cloudburst despairs can displace
the hard ache of growing well, you heard
where for confusion of soil and intentions
anger not answered in human dimensions is
worm food or dear earth's core
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4. |
GOOD GHOSTS
03:41
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on the night you said you were new again
i didn't see the matter
in the car you said it was already over
i didn't see it coming
you face the one way, you face the other
brace for the shockwave and swim like the suckers you are
on a screen you recite your truth again
you don't see the matter
in an empty room you promise it's better off broken
you don't see it coming
erase my father, erase my mother
brace for the punchline and grin like the sucker i am
wind blows; good ghosts leave no trace
leaves turn; boy, you've overstayed your welcome
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5. |
FOR E.
02:18
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ask forgiveness, beg pardon, lie down on the carpet
find a door you could walk through and let it close
buy a sun lamp in a flat box and face it all winter long
use the cardboard to pack up your little hopes
don’t be mean or ungenerous
no matter what he says to you
swallow all your fireworks before they burst
and don’t expect him to compromise
or confess to the obvious
find a dry place to live in, expect thirst
and when he writes you, write back
when he calls on the telephone to explain
that he didn’t mean or he didn’t know
you can tell him it’s all your fault
a child is a bowling ball – a weight
you’re just waiting to let go
but if you ever feel different
come to my window
i’ll show you the real sun
if you ever want out of it
come to my front porch
i’ll show you a person can run
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6. |
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you there, sorting through your records
picking out your clothes, then heading
into town where you have called a council
to weigh in on a value no one else can hold
you can dig a hole
drop in all your good times
(all of them were…)
i will never know you now
you there, sitting in the front seat
smoking out the window
emptying your headlights
into that green field where
we talked about a future
you will never see
you can tell a story
all about your good times
(all of them were…)
you will never know me now
you can turn and go
nobody will blame you
everybody loves
this gift of song
you left us
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7. |
LAY KEPPE
02:24
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if i were to bring you back
return your frozen speech
like the ocean spits up glass
as sand under the beating waves
you’d be sleepwalk disassembled
hollow rattling tree
casting votes at empty polls
an unlearned-how-to-be thing
o, your stalking secrets
head full of groping vines
and stains that will not wash away
on that last night, we went out
to get some Cuban food
turned the TV up real loud
and ate our Cuban food
you’re the bomb
down in the basement
you’re that big bright light
blaze, we’ll watch
we’ll watch, we’ll watch
we’ll watch you lose this fight
all your bad ideas
o, in that angry mind
leave marks that will not fade away
if i found a passage out
a key to death’s small door
would you even want to stay
without her?
o, your gathered eyebrows
last few gentle signs
no, they can’t take that away
and if it’s only music
that we leave behind
then let it play
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8. |
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there you are beside the swing
in the shadow of the school
and there you are 10 ft above yourself
in your mom’s living room
and there you are – you chipped your tooth
you cracked your heart and head
and there you are, hiding inside yourself
under the bed
wondering how to be in a body
in a sea of other bodies
here you are in the second house
you moved to with your friends
and here you are in the seventh house
where it’s harder to pretend
and here you are, exhausted and enraged
and so in love
and here you are, you’re here again
no map, no rules, and no answers for
how to be with your changing body
and your restless hands, your restless mind
can you let it be?
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two nice toads Toronto, Ontario
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