Original air date: 3/29/1998 (produced in 1996)

Production code: 3G04

Homer joins the Naval Reserve after getting fired again, with world-threatening results when he shoots his commanding officer out of the submarine and steers it into Russian waters. Meanwhile, Bart gets his ear pierced so he can be cool.

This is the fourth of four episodes produced by Al Jean and Mike Reiss instead of the current showrunner (in this case, Mike Scully for when the episode aired or Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein for when the episode was produced). Jean would return as showrunner starting in season 13.

Tropes:

• Abnormal Ammo: An accidental version. Through his general incompetence, Homer ends up firing Captain Tenille out of a torpedo tube, which then hits another sub. The men on the other sub remark that "We've been hit by an officer!" When ordered to return fire, the men are about to grab their officer who stops his men and says "Not me, a torpedo!"
• Aborted Arc: As of the end of the episode, Homer is unemployed, having been fired by Mr. Burns. We never learn how he came to get his old job at the power plant back.
• Ambiguously Gay:
  • Barney has a Betty Grable-style pin-up of a cross-dressed Homer. Homer is understandably confused.
  • One of the officers called to court-martial Homer for his actions can't, because he impersonated the First Lady. He then puts on a wig and walks away.
  • Smithers does another of his long list of hints to his homosexuality before he officially came out of the closet, this time dancing with the Village People on the deck of the submarine.
• Ambiguous Syntax: After Tenille is fired into the side of the opposing submarine.
  Crewman: We've been hit by an officer!
  Captain: If they're going to fire on us, we'll respond in kind. Fire!
  [two men grab the captain, intending to drag him to the torpedo tubes]
  Captain: Not me, a torpedo!  
• As Himself: Bob Denver shows up at the Naval Reserve base as the entertainment. 
• As You Know: The guy with big hand explains how exposing the doughnut to radiation from the reactor core will make it big just like it did to his hand, holding up his left hand that appears normal. "Oh, wait. It's this hand," he says, showing his giant right hand as he falls over from its weight.
• Back from the Dead: When the Soviet Union decides it was time to show it isn't over, Vladimir Lenin rises from his grave.
• Bait-and-Switch: As the sub sails out of port, Captain Tenille leads the crew in singing a traditional sea shanty- no, it's not "Anchors Aweigh", it's "In the Navy".
• Blatant Lies: Homer's first attempt to get away with a blunder by claiming it's his first day at the plant fails because Smithers tells Mr. Burns that Homer has been an employee for ten years. When Mr. Burns asks why Homer lied, Homer once again claims that it's his first day. Mr. Burns figures out on his own that Homer is lying this time.
• Breaking the Fourth Wall:
  • When the United Nations is introduced, the scene first shows a little stall selling corn, then the guy in charge tells the viewer "It's over there!" and jerks his head towards the actual building.
  • As Moe is cuddling his cat, Mr. Snookums, in a dream sequence, he suddenly looks at the viewer, angrily yelling "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!"
• Brick Joke: Early in the episode, Homer's excuse of it being his first day at the plant fails because Smithers reminded Mr. Burns about Homer having been an employee for ten years. Near the end, Homer tries the same excuse. Only this time it works because, ironically enough, it really was his first day. 
  • ​When Bob Denver is at the naval reserve base, he mentions that he hates it when people hit him with a hat (a'la the Skipper used to do to his character on Gilligan's Island). Later, when Homer is talking to Marge, he mentions that he met Bob Denver and hit him with his hat. 
• Chekhov's Gag: Remember all the times Burns forgets Homer's name, leading to Smithers reminding him? Homer's "first day" lie falls through because Smithers tells Burns that Homer has been working at the plant for ten years. Homer is then fired as a result.
• Chekhov's Gun: Bart, exasperated by Homer's disapproval of his earring, hands it over to him before he leaves, which would later help him save the submarine from filling with water.
• Continuity Nod: Lisa is reading Junior Skeptic Magazine, first seen in "The Springfield Files".
• Couch Gag: A parody of the Rocky and Bullwinkle bumpers.
• Court-Martialed: Homer gets put in charge of a sub and sails to Russia. After he gets stopped, Homer is court-martialed. But all of his judges admit to other crimes (or at least investigations), so they are not currently qualified to judge him.
• Cruel and Unusual Death: Captain Tenille is fired out of the sub in place of a torpedo, flying through the water until he hits another submarine with enough force to make a dent in it.
• Denser and Wackier: Even by Simpsons standards, this is one of the most outright daffy episodes that doesn't cross over into being non-canon like Treehouse of Horror. The various Big Lipped Alligator Moments, particularly the one where the Soviet Union reforms and Lenin rises from the dead as a communist zombie, border on the outright surreal.
• Distinction Without a Difference: When Homer is accused of having defected to Russia:
  Abe: My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, and a Communist, but he is not a porn star!
  • Bart asks Homer, who disapproves of his ear piercing, if he ever did anything wild when he was a kid. Homer replies that he got his ear pierced when he was ten, "but this is completely different."
• Dream Sequence: The episode opens with Homer dreaming about being put on trial by the inhabitants of the Planet of the Donuts for eating half of their population. Homer takes a bite out of his own defence attorney while he's appealing to the court for mercy.
• Drill Sergeant Nasty: One tries to bust Homer and company into shape because their mothers aren't there to coddle them (except Barney's).
  Drill Sergeant: All right, Simpson. I don't like you, and you don't like me.
  Homer: I like you.
  Drill Sergeant: Um, all right. You like me, but I don't like you.
  Homer: Maybe you would like me if you got to know me.
• The Drunken Sailor: The advertisement for the Naval Reserve states that most of the time, its members are "drunk off their ass".
• Ear-Piercing Plot: In the B-plot, Milhouse gets an earring, which makes him popular with his classmates. An envious Bart decides to get his ear pierced against Homer's wishes (at a piercing store that quickly becomes one of many Starbucks at the Springfield Mall). When Homer finds out, he confiscates Bart's earring. Near the end of the episode, when a naval submarine Homer and his friends are on is being flooded due to a pin-sized hole in the hull, Homer uses Bart's earring to plug up the hole, saving everyone onboard the sub.
• The Elevator from Ipanema: When the submarine loses power after being shot, the emergency system plays "The Girl from Ipanema", to the delight of Homer.
• Epic Fail: Homer's overall time in the Naval Reserve can easily be summed up by these two words.
  • During basic training, he loses his sailor hat to a seagull and forgets to tie a knot to the other end of a ship, resulting in it going over a waterfall, among other things. How he managed to graduate at all is a mystery.
  • During his first actual day on the job:
    • He accidentally kills his captain by firing him out of a torpedo tube and into an enemy sub. Said enemy sub fires back at him, resulting in the submarine he's on losing most of its power.
    • His attempt to steer the submarine without a radar causes it to end up in Russian waters, resulting in Homer being mistaken for a Communist. Even worse, he was this close to steering the submarine to Springfield Harbor, only to steer it in the other direction at the last minute.
    • His actions nearly result in the start of a nuclear war with Russia and the submarine sinking with everyone on it. He's only saved by Bart's earring plugging the hole in the submarine and the fact that the men judging him at the court martial were under investigations or charges of their own, resulting in them being unable to legally punish him. And even then, he still gets a dishonorable discharge on his first day.
• "Eureka!" Moment: Homer starts thinking about his family as the submarine is about to sink... which brings him back to Bart, with whom he's still angry for getting that earring. Then, in his thought, Bart explains to him that the earring is narrow enough to plug the leak in the submarine, giving him the idea.
• Every Scar Has a Story: Parodied by the veteran at the "Unpopular Wars Hall", whose war story is losing an eye while drinking a Mai Tai in Haiti because he didn't take the little parasol out.
• Everything's Deader with Zombies: After the Soviet Union makes its triumphant return, Lenin comes back as a zombie, complete with a shuffling, walking motion and ghastly moans.
• Eye Scream: Played for Laughs when a war veteran with an eyepatch tells a story: "Lost this eye in Haiti. I was drinking a Mai Tai and forgot to take the little parasol out."
• Feathered Fiend: Antarctica is part of the (neo-)Communist block in the Simpsons universe, apparently, and has at least one aircraft carrier crewed by penguins.
• File Photo Gag: Channel 6 shows Homer in Red Square, dressed to the nines in an ushanka and fur coat doing That Russian Squat Dance with a bottle of vodka in one hand. Especially bad considering he's accidentally steered a nuclear submarine into Russian territory.
  Lisa: I told him that photo would come back to haunt him.
• Food Eats You: In Homer's Dream Sequence, he gets sentenced to death for eating half the population of The Planet of Donuts. His death sentence comes in the form of a giant donut eating him.
• Freudian Slip: When Bart notices that Milhouse got an earring:
  Bart: Milhouse, my mom wears earrings. Do you think she's cool?
  Milhouse: No, I think she's hot!! Sorry, it just slipped out.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Captain Tenille takes such a liking to Homer, that he leaves him in command while he goes to investigate the torpedo tube. It ends up costing him his life.
• Hot Sub-on-Sub Action: Homer joins the Naval Reserve and is assigned to a nuclear submarine during a war games exercise. Predictably enough, he ends up in command after shooting the captain out of a torpedo tube (hitting an enemy sub) and nearly starts World War III.
• Hypocritical Humor: Upon Bart coldly telling Homer that he's keeping his earring whether Homer likes it or not, Homer has this to grumble:
  Homer: I always thought Lisa would be the one to get her ears pierced.
  Lisa: Can I?
  Homer: NO!!
• Hypocrisy Nod: Homer gets upset with Bart's earring, saying it doesn't fit with the family's long naval heritage (long as in having begun some weeks before):^note although Grandpa's constantly changing backstory has seen him doing naval service before, including a stint on PT-109 with JFK in this very episode
  Bart: Come on, dad. Didn't you do anything wild when you were a kid?
  Homer: Well, when I was ten, I got my ear pierced... but this is completely different!
• Idiot Houdini: Homer avoids punishment for his actions while in charge of the submarine because each member of the committee judging him has his own legal trouble.
• Imagine Spot: When the submarine is sinking, Homer tells the crew to think of their beloved ones. He imagines Bart taunting him about the earring, which gives him the idea of blocking the hole with it.
• Impact Silhouette: Tenille leaves a person-shaped dent in the submarine he is shot into.
• "Jump Off a Bridge" Rebuttal:
  Marge: What on earth possessed you to get an earring?
  Bart: Milhouse has one.
  Marge: If Milhouse jumped off a cliff...
  Bart: Milhouse jumped off a cliff?! I'm there!
• Kindhearted Cat Lover: When Homer tells his crew to think of their loved ones, Moe thinks of his cat Mr. Snookums.
• Late to the Realization: When Homer is court-martialed, he needs a janitor (who looks like the old man from "Marge Gets a Job" who was forcibly retired) to explain to him he was released.
• Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Bart sings "Do the Bartman" to get attention on the bus, Ralph tells him it's "So 1991".
• The Main Characters Do Everything: Not only does Apu not have any reason to join the Naval Reserves, he notes that his religion strictly forbids military service — but: "What the hey! I'm in too!"
• Make the Bear Angry Again: Turns out the Soviet Union never disbanded, it was just in hiding, and still retains its expansionist ambitions.
• The Man Is Sticking It to the Man: Lampshaded by Lisa after Bart got his ear pierced because Milhouse did and it made him popular. Calling it "rebellious in a conformist sort of way."
• Mass "Oh, Crap!": The WWI historical recreationist graduates all have one of these after they follow the example of the Naval Reserve graduates and the pastry school graduates by throwing their pickelhaube helmets into the air, causing them to come down points-first. They let out a big "Uh-oh!" just before the hats come down and the show cuts to an ad break.
• Mistaken for Profound: Combined with One Dialogue, Two Conversations. Tenille wants to discuss philosophy with Homer, who's more concerned about food.
  Capt. Tenille: Tell me, young man, what do you want out of life?
  Homer: [reaching for a bowl of peas] I want peas!
  Capt. Tenille: We all want peace! But it's always just out of reach.
  Homer: [sadly] Uh huh...
  Capt. Tenille: So, what's the best way to get peace?
  Homer: [uses his knife to retrieve some peas] With a knife!
  Capt. Tenille: Exactly! Not with the olive branch, but the bayonet! Ha, ha, Simpson, you're like the son I never had.
  Homer: And you're like the father I never visit.
• New Job Episode: Homer joins the Navy after losing his job at the plant. How he ever got his old job back is never explained.
• Noodle Incident: Apparently, Homer had two embarrassing photos of himself taken that only two people know about:
  • Barney has a Betty Grable-style pin-up of Homer.
  • For whatever reason Homer had a photo taken of himself in a Russian fur hat posing outside the St. Basil Cathedral with a bottle of vodka in his hand. It somehow became a file photo for Channel 6 News when Kent Brockman did the report on Homer piloting a nuclear sub into Russian waters.
  • There's definitely some kind of crazy story going on with how Krusty and Skinner got mixed up with the Yakuza, who are forcing them to play Russian Roulette against each other in the back of Moe's tavern. But we'll never know what it is.
• Off on a Technicality: Homer, during his military tribunal:
  Admiral 1: Seaman Simpson, your actions have given the Navy a black eye from which it may never recover. I would throw the book at you, but I've been indicted in the Tailhook scandal. Goodbye!
  Admiral 2: I, too, would punish you, but, I'm under indictment for accepting bribes from military contractors.
  Admiral 3: I torpedoed a Carnival Cruise ship.
  Admiral 4: [wearing a "Hillary" wig] Impersonating the First Lady!
  [a janitor approaches]
  Janitor: I think you're off the hook.
  Homer: Woo-hoo!
• Omniglot: Homer, of all people, manages to say "It was my first day" in English, Spanish, Chinese, and Penguin in order to defuse an international crisis.
• One Twin Must Die: During the submarine incident, Skinner declares that the fallout shelter will harbor only "the best and brightest". This includes "Sherri... but not Terri". Cue Terri leaving the podium distraught, to a "Haw Haw" from Nelson.
• Parental Hypocrisy: Homer is upset because Bart got his ear pierced.
  Bart: Come on, Dad. Didn't you ever do anything wild when you were a kid?
  Homer: Well, when I was ten I got my ear pierced. But this is completely different!
• Penguins Are Ducks: Homer communicates with the penguin crew of a ship from Antarctica by saying "Quack quack quack".
• Post-Soviet Reunion: Russia reveals that end of the Cold War was a sham, and dramatically returns to its Soviet ways - including the Berlin Wall popping back up from the ground complete with in-place guards and dogs, and the corpse of Lenin arising and staggering around his tomb, moaning "Must crush capitalism..."
  American UN representative: "The Soviet Union"? I thought you guys broke up.
  Russian UN representative: Yes, zat's vat ve vanted you to think! [Evil Laugh]
• Predatory Business: When Bart goes to the mall to get an earring, every other store he passes is either a Starbucks or... a store converting into a Starbucks. When he makes it to the earring store, the clerk tells him, "Better make it quick, kiddo. In five minutes, this place is becoming a Starbucks." Bart leaves with an earring and coffee, and the camera pans out to reveal that Starbucks has virtually taken over the entire mall.
• Rule of Funny: The enemy flotilla that corners Homer's sub includes a Viking ship and the carrier S.S. Antarctica, crewed by penguins.
• Russian Roulette: Principal Skinner and Krusty the Clown are playing in the back of Moe's Tavern with multiple crime syndicates betting on the game in a scene lifted almost directly from The Deer Hunter.
• Scatterbrained Senior: Abe attempts to defend Homer against accusations that he's a communist who defected to Russia. Unfortunately, he then says Homer is a Communist (along with being a liar, a pig, an idiot) anyway, and then instead angrily asserts that Homer is not a porn star.
• Shout-Out:
  • Captain Tennille is named after the 70's music duo Captain & Tennille.
  • To Village People. The Captain explains that it's tradition for a crew to sing an "ancient sea chanty" as an American vessel casts off, cuing the whole crew to launch into a rousing rendition of "In the Navy". The actual Village People (plus Smithers) even appear dancing on top of the submarine, only to end up drowning as it submerges.
  • At the helm is a Mr. Sulu who mistakenly says "setting course for Rigel VII" before correcting himself.
• Skewed Priorities: In the event of World War III, Skinner has elected to save only the best and brightest... which includes the school's championship kickball team (the bullies).
• Special Guest: Rod Steiger as Capt. Tenille.
• Spontaneous Choreography: The "In the Navy" sequence, including an appearance by The Village People themselves (and, inexplicably, Smithers). Where did Barney learn to dance like that?
  Barney: Five years of modern dance, six years of tap.
• Stealth Pun: According to Skinner, wearing earrings at school is forbidden "unless you're of Gypsy extraction". Milhouse responds with "Um... I vant to suck your blood?" It's likely he confused the Romani with Romanians.
  Skinner: Nuh-uh. That's a vampire. [Skinner checks the school dress code] But, uh, they're also covered. Carry on.
• Status Quo Is God: It's no surprise that Homer has been dishonourably discharged from the Naval Reserve by the end of the episode, but by the next one he's also back to working at the power plant, despite having actually been fired for causing a minor disaster there at the start.
• Strong Family Resemblance: Barney's mother just looks like someone put a wig, makeup and a nurse's uniform on Barney.
• Toilet Humor: Homer's first question to his commanding officer is "Is the poop deck what I think it is?" Said officer likes the humor of the question (though Homer was probably being serious).
• Totally Radical: Bart tries to show he's still cool by singing and dancing to the "Do The Bartman" song. Ralph comments "That is so 1991."
• Umbrella Drink: One of the war veterans Homer meets lost an eye while drinking one of these in Haiti, due to him forgetting to take the umbrella out before drinking it.
• We Hardly Knew Ye: Captain Tenille is given just a few minutes to bond with Homer, before being killed in an act of freak stupidity (naturally, due to Homer).
• Whole-Plot Reference: To Crimson Tide, although it was outlined before the movie came out and retooled to reference it afterward.
• You Are in Command Now: Homer is placed in command of the submarine while Captain Tenille cleans out the torpedo tubes, which Homer stored snacks in, then it's closed with Tenille inside and Homer later stupidly orders it to be fired.
• Zombie Gait: How Lenin moves about.
  "Must... crush... capitalism!"