Quotes / Everyone Has Standards

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"Our universe may have a well earned reputation for depravity, but that lunatic is too much even for us!"

Look...no one ever said Jotaro Kujo was a nice guy. I beat the crap out of people, more than I have to. Some are even still in the hospital. I've had idiot teachers who like to talk big, so I taught them a lesson. They never came back to class. If I go to the restaurant and the food's bad, I make it a policy to stiff 'em with the bill. But...even a bastard like me can spot true evil when he sees it! True evil are those who use the weak for their own gain, and crush them underfoot when they're through! Especially an innocent woman!

[After seeing Rob Lucci pull a You Have Failed Me on Nero]
Sanji: These are the agents of justice?
Franky: They're more evil than we are.

River: Maybe now that we’re done, we can pick up where we left off…? I mean, if you want to…
Fletcher: You’re really a virgin? No bullshit.
River: Well, technically, yeah! It’s like, I’ve done hand and mouth stuff obviously, but…Look, I know I was a bit weird about my…area…but how am I ever gonna have a good sex life if I’m scared? I figured if I just do it already, I would feel less-
Fletcher: And you were just gonna let me fuck you anyway?
River: H-Hey! What is this? I didn’t take a literal porn star to get prissy about virginity of all things! I mean, come on! You must’ve taken like, what, a thousand virginities by now?
Fletcher: None.
River: Wh…None?
Fletcher: Nope.
River: But…why not?
Fletcher: I don’t do that.
River: I…don’t understand…
Fletcher: Lemme give you one more direction for the day - do it with someone who cares. Then maybe we’ll finish what we started, but I’m not your cherry-popper.

"...He's obsessed with death, he likes experimenting on people - that's what he was banished for, mostly, he was kicking around at Loki's level even before he got a hold of the Darkhold, he's dueled Doctor Strange and survived... Boss, he's evil. The real thing, evil with a capital E. You have no idea how much danger you're in by even being on the same continent as him."

That scared me. Not much really scares Bob, mostly because he's a spirit, and he has enough knowledge to translate to serious power. And he has a poor grasp on human morality. We see things in black and white, he sees them in blue and orange, or colors that we can't even perceive.

I have never heard him seriously describe something as evil.

Lucy: "Yeah, this is too syrupy even for me. And I read Princess Pony."

Lynn: "Okay, time out. I may fight dirty, but I'd draw the line at using my sister as a human shield. That's just heinous."

Leni: "We do [frequently tease you], Linky. But that's only because we know you can take it."

Lola: "We wouldn't double down if we saw you crying."

Lola: "Yes, when we saw that the toilet was clogged, we thought you were the one who did it. But that was because you've done it several times before. (...) Anyway... my point is that I had a reason to suspect you, and even then, I gave you a chance to prove that you didn't! I don't just blame you for everything without reason!"

Lucy: "That was too depressing even for my standards."

Lynn: "I know I like to play rough, but I'm not a sadist. I still care about keeping you safe."

Lynn: "You read our diaries all the time."

Luna: "Yeah, don't think we don't know about that."

Lola: "Reading is different from sharing. I wouldn't just show his private journal to all my classmates!"

Fic Lincoln: "When she saw how much hate I had in me because of her mistake..."

Lincoln: "Whoa, now. I've gotten pretty steamed at my sisters before, but I would never, ever use the H-word on them."

Luan: "Look, I know I can go a little overboard when it comes to [practical joking]. Okay, a lot overboard. But be honest with me: have I ever made you afraid that you were going to die? Have I ever sent you to the hospital?"

Lincoln: It's not 'wrong' to like something that most people don't. Plenty of us do. I mean, I enjoyed Ace Savvy & Jack 6.
Luna: And I didn't mind Mick Swagger's disco album.
Lana: I like anchovies on pizza!
Lola: Too far, Lana.

Stella: Well?…
Johnathon: Well what?...
Stella: Are you going to tell me I told you so?
Johnathon: I don't want to kick you when you're already down...
Stella: Never stopped you before...
Johnathon: Maybe I'm tired of doing that. Maybe I'm tired of fighting with you or maybe I just feel like you don't deserve to go through that, even after what has happened...
Stella: Glad someone has standards...

Cyril: How much?
Thomasin: A night or two... [laughs] Just kidding, I'm not like those extremists who try to fuck every penis they see. No... my ma and pa taught me better than that.

Buffy: Actually I meant the other one with the memory-lapse and the desire to turn every sentence into a sexual innuendo.
Ted: Oh Barney! Yeah that girl, Faith knocked him out about an hour ago; said something about liking her men to be crude but not that crude.

Atticus: You want a bunch of children to be killed off to become ghosts and roam around hurting other people?!
Olmec: Do you wish for the Apex to continue as they are?
Lexi: We all don't want that. Scare them? Yes. Murder them? No.

"PROTO—!? You want to speak to me about protocol?! While I acknowledge that all Buster Calls have high casualty rates, none before have resulted in genocide!"

"I like scary things, I don't like hurting people!"

“Well if they can't walk, what goddamn use would they be to us?” Queen scoffed. “Chuck them straight over the waterfall! They'd be dead weight.”
The soft music that had been cooling his nerves stuttered. Kaido's eyes drifted to Komurasaki, who was playing the shamisan for them. She didn't come to Onigashima often; when she did, it was because Orochi brought her along with him. Generally Kaido didn't pay her any mind... women didn't appeal to him nearly as much as his subordinates. He supposed he could see her appeal, if distantly.
She recovered from her stumble quickly; no one noticed but himself. Queen's statement deeply troubled her. Huh. Interesting stance for a woman who robs men of everything but their last pennies to have, he thought. I suppose most everyone has some sort of standard they adhere to. Even the likes of a greedy whore and a brutal oni.

Anonymous: Teruteru don't you dare put anything in that soup!
Teruteru Hanamura: After what [Hibiki] just went through? What kind of chef- nay, what kind of man do you think I am?! [...] I’m a pervert, I admit it. But I’m no criminal.

C.C.: Either way, if those Caninu and Felineko don’t cause your little club to implode, then that girl [Kallen] will. Why don’t you use Geass to force her into compliance?
Lelouch: Even if I did consider it, it won’t work. I already used Geass on her before to ask about Shinjuku. That rendered her immune from all future orders.
C.C.: Then use Geass on that Felineko [Vanilla].
Lelouch: Out of the question.
C.C.: Your standards are going to get you killed one day.
Lelouch: I’d rather have some than live life completely unfettered. That’s a harsh lesson I’ll impart on my father soon enough.

Dhinell: So. Whom, exactly, have you murdered, that you've apparently made a habit of it?
Seiji: Criminals. Bandits, mostly. Also some city gangsters. Whether you consider those a separate group is just quibbling over definitions, really. A prolific serial child abuser one time. Oh, and some cannibals once—that was a weird day. [pause] Lots of rapists. Overlapping with basically every other category. Just... holy shit, so many rapists. Rape seems to be Dount's national sport.
Dhinell: Hm. You almost seem to take that... personally. Peculiar, for a man.
Seiji: Yeah, see, that's exactly the kind of fucked up attitude that created this problem. I don't know how any person with a conscience can see the aftermath of something like that, or even just talk to someone it happened to, and not take it personally. That's part of being human. What sort of twisted, soulless waste of air could just…do that to someone and walk away feeling like they still deserve to live?
Dhinell: Well. I suppose that's no one who mattered, then. I was prepared to dismiss you as a monster, but there are indeed some individuals who are worth nothing but a swift removal from existence.
Seiji: [to Rhydion] Does it sound that gross when I say it?
Rhydion: In what way do you imagine yourself to be fundamentally unlike anyone else who might express such a sentiment?
Dhinell: Your hypocrisy is truly without bounds.
Seiji: You know what's really funny? Just... absolutely hilarious, the best joke the goddesses ever played? All of that is just in the last few months. Since this summer. Before that, in my home country... Hell, I don't think I'd ever been in a physical altercation since my voice dropped. We don't go around murdering people where I'm from. I would have derisively laughed at anyone who suggested I might ever find any reason to take a human life.
[beat]
Seiji: And then I came to Fflyr Dlemathlys, the worst place in the universe. Home to a staggering proportion of unsalvageable people who cannot be prevented from behaving like monsters except by being prevented from breathing. Not to mention a plurality of people who absolutely refuse to exercise basic common sense or moral decency until they've been made to understood that the alternative is a sword through the ribs. I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be a good person, but I will tell you this from experience: I'm glad to be as good a person as my surroundings will allow me to be. In this shithole country, that's not fucking very.
Dhinell: I'm sorry we fall so short of your exacting standards, Lord Seiji.
Seiji: My standards are exceedingly lax. That's the issue.

"I loved the wrestling business all my life, but it's not that important."

"Oh, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I'm a professional criminal and I find that disturbing."

"But now, this putrid silly congressman from Florida, Mark Foley, a pox on him! Calling himself an alcoholic, when in fact, the man is just a pervy little creep. In my most heroic and glorious drunkenness, I have never dreamed of diddling the doinks of young boys. I have soiled myself, I have soiled my friends, and I have passed out cold in many an unsavory lavatory, for which I am very proud, but I am not a pervert. I'm a drunk. I drink, I talk too loud, I knock stuff over; one time when I was sensationally drunk, Albert Finney and I stole a train. That's the kind of fun we alcoholics like to have!"

I remember the first time a mortal called me heartless. I thought she was blind. I thought she was blind not to understand of our duty, our ruthlessness. But I think I understand what she meant now. You, my lady huntress, are colder than the void.

Kratos: Why did you speak to the dwarf like that?
Atreus: Aren’t you sick of hearing about him and his brother?
Kratos: Of course. But it serves nothing to make an enemy of him.
Atreus: He should know the truth. Even if it hurts.
Kratos: It was needless and unkind.

Red Hood: There's far, then there's too far.
Superman: Who are you to judge me?
Red Hood: You've gone far enough, Superman!

“Torturing small animals?! What kind of whackjob waterboards Chip and Dale? That makes guyliner here like the most uncoolest dude ever!”

"First of all, let me introduce myself. I'm Nabooru of the Gerudo. I'm a lone wolf thief. But don't get me wrong! Though we're both thieves, I'm completely different from Ganondorf. With his followers, he stole from women and children, and he even killed people! A kid like you may not know this, but the Gerudo race consists only of women. Only one man is born every hundred years... Even though our laws say that lone male Gerudo must become King of the Gerudo, I'll never bow to such an evil man!"

"Damn, I don't like that wolf either but this is a little overboard."

Cetrion: Good and evil are relative terms.
Shang Tsung: Fundamentally, yes.
Cetrion: And yet, here stands pure evil.

Weavile: ...A Time Gear, huh?... Tsk. I guess we don't have any choice. Arbok! Drapion! We're going home.
Medicham: Huh?! W-wait up, you!
Weavile: What?
Medicham: You're a band of thieves that does bad things, aren't you? So you're just going to go home without stealing anything?
Weavile: Humph! If it were some other treasure, it'd be fine... But you can't just steal a Time Gear and take it with you. Even though we're scoundrels, we at least know that much.
Medicham: I-is that so?
Weavile: Yeah... There are some things you just can't take.

"Dying for money's one thing - that's my choice. But dying for no good reason? Doesn't sit right with me."

"Feelings? Look, mate. You know who has a lot of feelings? Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy. Professionals have standards. Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

"Uh-uh... mnff... no way!" His piggish cheeks stuffed with chocolate, Hiro shakes his head. "Wonka shaid... nglp... no touching, so..."

"Whoa, whoa, did I just hear that right? We're to KILL the exalt? I'm just here for the plunder. You know, line my pockets with some royal goods. The exalt's such a sweet lady... Sure, I'll rob her blind, but I'd never harm her!"

"In my line of business, I deal with so-called 'bad' people on the regular. I don't discriminate so long as they've got SOME sense of right and wrong. I'm willing to take work from Heiyue, jaegers, thugs, and, hell, even the society. My door's open to 'em all. Not you, though. You're a special kind of bad.

Reeve: You seem to be laughing a lot, Palmer. As the, quote, "Executive Chief Director of Space 'Akkisition' and All the Cool Space Stuff", end quote, could you explain to me how you spent ten BILLION gil to buy, and I quote again, ten spaces?
Palmer: Oh! Well, that's easy! First you take both your hands, and you make a telescope out of them. And then, what you see in the night sky there? That's one space. And then, you take one billion gil-- which is how much one space costs, by the way-- And then, you toss it into a fire! And the smoke delivers the payment to space! And that's how you buy space!
President Shinra: Reeve, I would like the Space Program budget to go through you from now on.
Reeve: Thank you, Sir.

Olimar: Oh my God, they want to reinstate the death penalty for you [Louie] specifically! What did you DO!?
Bulborb: Oh, it was absolutely foul! Like, I know I'm a Bulborb and I'm just a big, stupid animal that eats Pikmin mindlessly, but like, watching [Louie] eat it, it was like, so horrific that I developed morals! That's how sick it was. Like... God.
Olimar: Wait, it was so disgusting that your brain evolved so that it could process the horrors that it was witnessing?
Bulborb: Yes!

Senator: And this; you stole a nuclear submarine?
Black Hat: I plead the third.
Senator: You mean the fifth?
Black Hat: No, the third.
Senator: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.

the-rap-sloth: Could we see ante in an un-set though? :D

Mark Rosewater: There are things even an Un-set won’t do.

CLEO: Okay, so… if the problem is rapid desalinization...is there any way you could try to...resalinize the ocean?
MOVIE SCIENTISTS: So...what you're suggesting is...we dump the world's table salt reserves into the North Atlantic.
CLEO: I didn't say… well, something like that. Only make it sciency.
MOVIE SCIENTISTS: ...
CLEO: ...
JACK: Ma'am, that idea is too stupid even for this movie.

"I will not touch that thing. I'll stick my arm in a wild plothole, I'll fix my little sib's cuts and grazes and change my baby cousins' nappies, I'll disembowel a Sue with a sabre, I'll even help Mum make liver for dinner, but I will not pick up roadkill."

"I've seen a woman impaled from vag to mouth on a spear...and this makes me feel dirty..."

Yoda: Fun of me, you all make?
Mace Windu: Grammar matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my syntax, do you?
Ki-Adi-Mundi: 900 years old I am. Speak proper English I cannot.
Obi-Wan: Very wise I am, yes, Language, skills I have not.
Mace Windu: Ha ha ha ha ha.
Anakin: Green and ugly I am! Shriveled and tiny my lightsaber is!
[Beat]
Mace Windu: Okay, Anakin, this just got weird.
Obi-Wan: Dude, too much Anakin!
Ki-Adi-Mundi: Wow that was really over the top Anakin.
Anakin: Um...
Mace Windu: You ruined it Anakin. Sit your ass down.

"This special has never reaired, and to this day, George Lucas has apparently gone out of his way to make sure that nobody sees it. So just to recap, this is the guy who said this◊ is okay and this◊ is okay, which means that this is the project that he was personally ashamed of. I'm going to go over that again: okay◊, okay◊, personally ashamed of◊. There are not enough toilets in the world to contain the amount of shit-spewing fear that I am going through right now."

The Nostalgia Critic: You know, growing up, I remember seeing a trailer for a Rob Reiner film called North. Even though I never saw it, it looked harmless enough - sort of a quirky comedy about a boy who divorces his neglecting parents and searches the world for better ones. It just looked like any other average family comedy, but what really drew my attention to it was the Siskel & Ebert review:

Gene Siskel: It's junk - first class junk.

Roger Ebert: It's a movie that makes me cringe, even when I'm sitting here thinking about it.

Gene Siskel: It's...it's embarrassing. You feel unclean as you're sitting there.

Roger Ebert: I hated this movie as much as any movie we've ever reviewed in the 19 years we've been doing this show.

The Nostalgia Critic: DAMN. That is HARSH. I mean, these are the guys that reviewed Batman & Robin, Kazaam, the Super Mario Bros. movie, AND the Tom and Jerry movie, and THIS is the movie that made them feel unclean? What the hell could be in it that could be so bad? Come on, kids! Let's find out!

"Christ, this is too awkward even for me! AND I'M SHYAMALAN!"

"Even I wouldn't eat dog food."

Numbuh Four: So what if I am [participating in bully fights]? I'm just battling adults like we always do.
Numbuh One: Battling adults is one thing. The bully fights are something else!
Numbuh Two: Yeah! The adults we fight are evil! We don't trap 'em and get 'em all hopped up on caffeine like the bullies do. Those adults are barely human by the time they get into that ring!

"He lives in a pineapple under the sea! Look, I know I’m whimsical. I comb my hair with a fork. But there have to be limits."

Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other! ...Oh my God - oh shit! That was... okay, yeah. T-that was gross. Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach on this one, Morty. Ugh. My appetite for purge-spectating got filled pretty quick.

Morty: Seriously, Rick? Is it really easier to eat human flesh than to just tell me why we're still here?
Rick: ...No. Okay, I'll level with you...

Mr. Krabs: Oh no! I've seen this on the late show! You ghoulish fiends hold me down and take turns nibbling on my innards, then ye eat my brain and leave my body for the buzzards!
Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen: That's disgusting! We just want the hat back!

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I Can't Believe I'm Saying This, but how could you trade Spongebob for 62 cents!?
Mr. Krabs: You think I could’ve gotten more?
Squidward: He stuck up for you and you sold him out. You should be ashamed of yourself!

Mr. Krabs: AVAST THERE LADDIES! What's all this ruckerus about now?!
SpongeBob: It's our Krabby Patty toy, Mr. Krabs! And Patrick ate it, so that I couldn't play with it!
Patrick: SpongeBob won't let me play with it!
SpongeBob: Only because you hogged it all night!
Patrick: I did not!
SpongeBob: Did too!
Patrick: Nuh-uh!
SpongeBob: Oh, you toy eater!
Patrick: Tattletale!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa, whoa, whoa there, now! Settle down!! All this brawlin' is over a toy?! You two shouldn't let a little trinket get between youse! You should be ashamed of yourselves. If I gave each of ya another toy, would that make you happy?!!
SpongeBob and Patrick: ...Yes.
Mr. Krabs: Well, you're in luck! You two seem so thrilled with the toy, I had an entire case of 'em made!

SpongeBob: Sorry to interrupt your gloating, sir. I just thought it would be pertinent for you to know that Plankton is laying on the street, forlorn.
Mr. Krabs: Really? He's a mess! [laughs]
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I know you and Plankton are sworn enemies and all, but putting on a dress to frighten him? Isn't that taking it a little too far?
Mr. Krabs: Need I remind you of the fact that you've disclosed the location of me safe, where I keep the secret formula?
SpongeBob: No need to remind me, sir. I broke Rule #2 of the Krusty Krab Rule Book: Never disclose the location of the secret formula! Don't worry, sir. I can fix this.

"I have my standards. They're low, but I have them."

"There are very few principles I have in life. One of them is I don't kick dogs, and the other one is I don't slap women in movies."