Despite the old saying about "sticks and stones", we all know that words really can hurt someone. In many cases, this harm is thought of as immediate emotional damage, being hurt by the insult because it's mean and designed to make someone feel bad. There is a more subtle, longer-term form of damage to watch out for, though — Internalization.
Put simply, this occurs when a character receives an insult that damages their self-esteem and changes their self-perception, causing them to believe that the insult might be true, and their bully correct. Sometimes, this can even induce a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy where they begin to act in a way that retroactively "proves" the insult correct — such as a kid getting labeled as "stupid" to the point where their grades slip via a loss of motivation because they think they're stupid.
The core of this trope is that the character didn't initially believe these things were true, at least at some point in their story or backstory; how this manifests can vary. We may see them openly express a different viewpoint, only to then change their tune after being insulted, sometimes immediately. This could be a Dark and Troubled Past that explains their current insecurities, continuing to be haunted by abusers that we may or may not meet in the story proper. Sometimes we see this development occur slowly or hit a long time after the fact, if the character was still trying to fight through it and prove their bully wrong. Other times, the insult might not stick until some event convinces them that their bully was right all along, causing them to reassess themselves following a tragedy or failure. Regardless, what matters is the chain of events, which puts the insult as the cause of their insecurity.
How they express these things can also vary, depending on what the insult was, how quickly it sunk in, and how they came to believe it. Sometimes they will parrot their bully's words or even outright claim they were correct, making the connection obvious. In other cases it's more subtle, especially if they were being consistently bullied by All of the Other Reindeer with multiple related insults, in which case we see them express an insecurity reminiscent of the abuse. Someone targeted for their appearance, personality, lifestyle, etc. may try and change themselves afterward, while someone bullied for their abilities may suddenly doubt their talent in the field they love. They may express general self-loathing if the insults were severe enough, such as being called "worthless", "cursed", "dangerous", etc; at the most insidious, this can cause Internalized Categorism or even create an outright Boomerang Bigot who believes them and people like them are inferior or bad.
Sometimes, the insults are blatantly untrue, born from petty bullying and spite while lacking all logic or validity. In most cases, though, there's a grain of truth to them, which makes them that much more effective as a truly Devastating Remark. At worst, the character is being targeted for a trait they can't control, such as their gender, race, sexuality, and in some cases social class — while the bully is unambiguously a bigot or is at least willing to resort to bigotry for the sake of power, there's not much that can be done to prove them wrong, and being a probable minority, they're likely in a culture that validates the bully's perspective. Even if it's nothing that serious, though, there being any truth to the insult at all means that it'll be that much harder to convince themselves it's wrong. The more truth it carries, the more difficult it is to convince themselves otherwise.
Naturally, this trope is done for drama and angst, showing the power of verbal abuse and connecting the insecurity to a specific source. It may be done away with through basic support and an encouraging You Are Better Than You Think You Are speech, or it may stick throughout the story and color their entire personality and perspective. They may become a villain in response to being called evil. In rare cases, this can result in the character changing for the better, if their damaged self-esteem resulted in them making a genuine effort to repair their life, but this only works if they were being insulted about things they could actually improve at to begin with, and gained motivation instead of giving up. In most cases, they'll change for the worse or outright throw into the towel.
Contrast Insult Accuracy Acceptance, where the character is not only unbothered by the accuracy, but recognizes the truth from the get-go, while this trope results in psychological harm, is rarely based in reality, and is what causes the belief in the first place.
No Real Life Examples, Please! — this is, unfortunately, a real-life consequence of verbal abuse and something many people suffer from. That makes it too common to discuss here.
Examples:
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Anime & Manga
- Kotoura-san: Having grown up with You Monster! insults for her Telepathy, Haruka eventually believes she is a monster herself. Even in a later arc (animated in Episode 11) when she's mostly healed, she still sees herself as a monster to some extent:
Haruka: (to a criminal) Maybe I am a monster, but I met people who reached out to me.
Comic Books
- Batman: This is Edward Nygma's, aka The Riddler's, Freudian Excuse. As a child, he proved himself to be incredibly intelligent, but his father (who's stated to have been envious of his son's natural genius) repeatedly called him a conniving idiot, even beating him when he brought his excellent grades home as "punishment" for cheating (whether or not Eddie was actually cheating depends on the writer). The constant barrage of insults drove Nygma to adopt the Riddler persona and commit crimes designed to prove that he's the smartest person around by lording his brain over everyone else's. It's also where his Criminal Mind Games were born: he has to leave riddles and clues to his activities, because otherwise people won't know how brilliant he is for devising them; several stories have other criminals commenting that if the Riddler could get past his compulsion, he'd be the richest, most successful crook in town.
- Runaways (Rainbow Rowell): Back before she died, Gert had a bad habit of casually putting down Nico as a defense mechanism against her own insecurities (for instance, slut-shaming Nico because she feels embarrassed about losing her own virginity to Chase, or criticizing Nico's leadership because her own ideas are often proven wrong.) When she is resurrected via Time Travel, she's shocked to discover that Nico actually thought her jabs were constructive criticisms and has shaped her life around them, with Nico throwing away a potentially healthy relationship with Victor because she was convinced she would eventually cheat on him (and rebuffing Karolina's affections for years for the same reason), and abandoning the other Runaways because she was convinced that she's a bad leader. With her second chance at life, Gert makes an attempt to be more positive and affirmative towards Nico in the hopes of making up for this.
- Thor: During the Original Sin storyline, Nick Fury whispered something to Thor that causes him to be unworthy of Mjolnir. Later, it was revealed that the words Nick had whispered were "Gorr was right." This hit close to home; for several real world years, Thor believed no one was worthy, not even him.
Fan Works
- The Dragon and the Butterfly: Hiccup, due to his constant mess-ups on Berk, was dubbed "Hiccup the Useless" from a young age. As the Madrigals learn how bad the emotional abuse Hiccup suffered was, Mirabel learns that the insulting title hurt him so deeply that he thinks he doesn't deserve true happiness. She and her family are able to help him see that he was never that horrible name; he's capable of more than his tribe could ever appreciate, and they're the ones in the wrong for refusing to see it.
- Origin Story (Worldmaker): Alex, despite being incredibly smart (now having the memory and intellectual abilities of a Kryptonian on top of the photographic memory and speed-reading skills she had as Xander), believes she's not intelligent due to years of verbal abuse from her parents, who regularly called her an idiot.
Films — Animation
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Frollo has spent much of Quasimodo's life convincing him that he is monstrous because of his deformed appearance, and that Frollo is doing him a favor by taking care of him, as the world would never accept him. It's clear that Quasi, despite being very sweet in disposition, has internalized this. When Esmeralda asks how a man as cruel as Frollo could raise someone as kind as Quasimodo, he denies her description, saying he is lucky to have Frollo, casually saying "I am a monster, you know" as if this were just a fact about himself.
- Kung Fu Panda: In the Secrets of the Furious Five short, Tigress was raised in an orphanage where she was locked in her room at all times to prevent her from accidentally hurting the other children with her strength. She overheard a caretaker telling Shifu that prospective parents were too scared of her to visit the orphanage, saying, "She's a monster! A monster!" When Shifu meets her for the first time, she angrily tells him he should be afraid of her because she's "Tigress the monster! ...A monster no one wants."
- Monsters University: Mike has never possessed the traits of a truly scary monster, despite his lifelong dream of being a scarer. Most of the time, he brushes off the insults and hurtful comments others give him, or simply uses them as motivation to work even harder. However, during the final challenge of the Scare Games, he briefly reflects on every hurtful comment he'd heard in his life, all of them telling him he isn't scary (proving that those words actually hurt him far more than he ever wanted to admit). It's the memory of Sulley encouraging him (telling him to "dig deep") that helps him break through the insecurity and do his scare.
- The Prince of Egypt: Early in the movie, after Rameses and Moses have a rather destructive chariot race, their father calls Rameses a "weak link that will break the chain of a mighty dynasty". While Seti later admits he was being a bit harsh (and, at his wife's and Moses's suggestion, gives Rameses the position of regent to give him a chance to show his dedication), the comment still hurt Rameses. When Moses, now a Midian shepherd tasked by God to free the Hebrews from slavery, returns from self-imposed exile years later, Rameses refuses to release the slaves and swears that he will not be the "weak link". His determination to not be the bad ruler his father said he'd be drives him to stubbornly hang on to his beliefs, even as the Ten Plagues bring Egypt to its knees.
- Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964): Rudolph spent his whole life being bullied for having a red nose, despite his being a perfectly nice reindeer. While he brushes off this abuse at the end of the film, it's clear numerous times that the bullying deeply hurt him, as he has several self-destructive habits as a result of it (such as leaving Hermie and Yukon Cornelius behind after believing his presence would hurt them, despite the fact that they'd proven they wanted to stay by his side). The other people of the North Pole, upon Rudolph and company returning and telling their story, seem to realize what they'd done, with many of them apologizing for their behavior.
- Soul (2020): After 22 ruins Joe's opportunity to play jazz onstage with Dorothea Williams, they have an argument where Joe angrily tells her she has no purpose in life. She becomes a feral Lost Soul, with a headspace where her previous mentors (and Joe) are scolding her on a loop, telling her she has no purpose in life, while she mutters to herself, "Not good enough. Nope. No point. I just need to fill out that last box. I give up."
- The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie: SpongeBob SquarePants is dismissed throughout the film as being "Just a Kid", and his journey was motivated in part by proving everyone wrong. He goes into each obstacle with confidence, but when he reaches a terrifying trench and is too scared to journey through it, he turns back and tells Patrick that they're "just kids". Mindy shows up and tries to encourage him by telling him that being a kid is okay, but it doesn't help, so she pretends she's magically made them adults instead. The movie ultimately ends on An Aesop that it's okay to be a kid, as SpongeBob not only overcomes the insult, but reframes it as a positive thing instead.
Films — Live-Action
- Cinderella: Ella gets nicknamed "Cinderella" after she spends one cold night sleeping in front of the fireplace, and wakes up with ash and cinders on her face. Her stepmother and stepsisters laugh at her and call her Cinderella. The name and taunts cause Cinderella to run into the kitchen to cry, with her believing for a moment that she's not as good as her step-family (though thankfully it doesn't last long).
Narrator: "Cinderella." Names have power.
- Eddie the Eagle: Eddie is dismissed and bullied constantly as someone with an Overly Ambitious Goal he's not good enough to achieve, with even Peary engaging in it at first. Eddie tries to maintain a positive attitude and is determined to succeed regardless, standing up for himself often. When his first jump turns him into a media spectacle, however, he realizes that everyone truly does see him as a fool, and the self-doubt creeps in. When talking to Peary, he first asks if he'll be receiving an "I Told You So" before admitting that he doesn't know what he was thinking and implying that he thinks he's crazy. Peary encourages him to try again by pointing out how dedicated and passionate Eddie is, and tells him as a friend, not a coach, to go for the bigger jump.
- Kingsman: The Secret Service: Eggsy grew up poor and has a chip on his shoulder regarding class relations, but wasn't initially insecure about it, instead being defensive, claiming that he'd be just as successful as anyone else if he had the privilege to try. He's bullied by most of the other candidates, primarily Charlie, who takes every chance he can to remind him of his social class and suggest that he doesn't belong there — a primary example being when he calls him a "pleb", an insult that clearly ends up sticking. As a result of all the bullying, Eggsy goes from standing up for himself, to doubting his value as a candidate, to openly saying that Charlie was right and calling himself a "pleb" who can't possibly become a gentleman. Harry is quick to assure him that being a gentleman has nothing to do with social class.
- Rags: Charlie generally seems unaffected by most of the abuse he goes through, continuing to live his life while snarking back to his abusers and befriending a pop-star, Kadee Worth. Unfortunately, he hears her sarcastically mock him for being a janitor behind his back one day and he leaves in disgust, before she defends him outright. After this, Charlie is briefly convinced he needs to hide the "Rags" secret from her, admitting to Lloyd that he's just "a nobody from a horrible family", looking down on himself in a way he hadn't before.
- Rocketman: A major theme in the movie is Elton's quest for love, something he'd been starved for most of his life. He believes he'd found it with John Reid, his first boyfriend. When he comes out to his mother, however, she just coldly tells him he'll be alone forever and will "never be loved properly", devastating him terribly. It's reinforced by John's immediate response, ignoring his distress to shout at and hit him. Despite this, he still pursues love, nearly giving John a second chance and then marrying Renate. After reflecting on his life in rehab, however, he admits that he did end up believing he was unlovable after all his failures. Thankfully, this is where he not only remembers Bernie's love for him, but finally starts to practice self-love.
- The Wind in the Willows (1996): During their first interaction, the Chief Weasel calls Mole a "spineless little nobody" because Mole believes his friends will help him, while the Weasels believe that everyone must stand up for themselves. Mole truly believes this insult throughout most of the movie, shattering what little self-confidence he had before. At one point, Mole tries to abandon Rat and retreat underground because he believes that a "spineless little nobody" like himself can't possibly save Toad Hall. However, Mole eventually comes to his senses and realizes that someone has to save his friends, which leads him to conquer his fears and become more than a "spineless little nobody."
Literature
- My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!: Two of Catarina's friends have origin stories involve having been insulted over things they have no control over to the point of internalization. Catarina helped them to grow out of it.
- Owing to his powerful golem magic and his young age, Keith had a Power Incontinence episode that badly injured his half-brothers. This led to the latter to not only dismiss him as a Son of a Whore, but also saw him as a monster; having endured such insults (as well as the resultant Madwoman in the Attic treatment) caused him to believe as such, even after he was adopted into the Claes house.
I forgot that I was a monster who had hurt others with my magic—dangerous magic that cannot be controlled.
- Due to her albinism, Sophia had been frequently considered "cursed" and "disgusting" by others. By the time she meets Catarina the first time, she firmly believes she is both, and is confused when Catarina shows non-disparaging interest in her appearance.
- Owing to his powerful golem magic and his young age, Keith had a Power Incontinence episode that badly injured his half-brothers. This led to the latter to not only dismiss him as a Son of a Whore, but also saw him as a monster; having endured such insults (as well as the resultant Madwoman in the Attic treatment) caused him to believe as such, even after he was adopted into the Claes house.
- In A Tangle Of Knots, Zane, a teenage boy, was called worthless by an adult once. As such, he often gets the word "worthless" flashing through his head, and he tends to doubt his ability to do things.
Live-Action TV
- Arrested Development: Played for laughs in "Notapusy", where Michael's new British girlfriend calls him a pussy (in the old British sense of being sweet and lovable), which Michael interprets in the American sense — i.e. as an implication that he's weak and cowardly. As Michael is already notorious for his inability to stand up to his relatives, he spends the episode looking for ways to prove his masculinity.
- Played with, in that it actually results in the insulted changing for the better. Late in Season 3 of The Wire, police sergeant Ellis Carver's boss Howard "Bunny" Colvin gives him a speech where he both praises Carver's strengths and takes him to task over his weaknesses as a police officer. In particular, Colvin goes on a rant about the brute force approach to policing and how completely wrong-headed it is, and to make his point he notes that on multiple occasions during the past season Colvin came to Carver trying to get information about things going on in the street or among the drug gangs and Carver never had anything useful to tell him because Carver had nobody on the streets (either civilian or underworld sources), willing to talk to him or work with him. In the following seasons Carver completely changes his approach to policing, showing almost encyclopedic knowledge of the streets and much better relationships with both the general community and street criminals who could be useful informants.
- Seinfeld: Played for Laughs. Elaine dates a guy who was violently attacked by two ex-girlfriends. She finds out that he is bad at breakups, which she considers a deal-breaker and calls things off. When she rejects him, he calls her "big head" which at first she laughs off, as it's barely even an insult. Then she starts to notice signs that her head is too big until she's convinced "I'm a walking candy apple!" Eventually she goes crazy enough that she violently attacks the guy.
- Star Trek: In the Original Series episode "The Ultimate Computer" Commodore Wesley insults Captain Kirk by calling him Captain Dunsel after an initial war games engagement. Dunsel was a term used by midshipmen at Starfleet Academy to refer to a part that served no useful purpose. Later, when the M5 computer controlling the Enterprise attacks Wesley's attack force Wesley believes that Kirk had internalized the earlier insult and was attacking them in anger over the insult.
Video Games
- Blue Archive: When Mika is revealed to be the traitor working to sabotage the Eden Treaty and allying with Arius to take over Trinity, much of the student body hates her, labeling her as a witch and demanding the harshest punishment. Despite all of this, she awaits in her cell for whatever punishment awaits for her. Then everything goes to hell. Arius Squad attacks the site of the Eden Treaty and Sensei is shot and put in critical condition, and when Mika meets up with Seia to discuss important information, Beatrice steals her mind and she falls into a coma. When Mika is blamed for this, she snaps, and decides that maybe she really is a witch and irredeemable, and that the only thing left to do is to pay back the Arius Squad for all the pain they caused her.
- Pokémon Sword and Shield: Hop is the game's Friendly Rival, and the brother of Leon, the Galar region's Pokemon Champion. At one point, he and Bede challenge each other to a Pokemon battle, only to suffer a humiliating defeat, and when he catches up with the Player Character afterward, he claims that Bede told him he "was dragging Lee's name through the mud, being rubbish like I was". This comment makes Hop question his approach to Pokemon training, as he goes from having a consistent team of Mons he relies on for most of the game to experimenting with Pokemon who only show up in his team for one battle. It may also contribute to his decision to, in the post-game, focus less attention on being a Pokemon trainer and pursue a career as a Pokemon-studying scientist instead.
- Sonic Forces: In the Episode Shadow DLC, Infinite (or rather, the unnamed jackal who would later become Infinite) starts out as a Boisterous Weakling who is overconfident in his ability to fight Shadow. After Shadow beats this jackal in a Curb-Stomp Battle and calls him "weak," Infinite flips out and does a Skyward Scream claiming that he's not weak. Shadow's insult gives him a desire to one-up Shadow, which leads him to become the hyperpowerful supervillain Infinite. Unfortunately, he goes too far and becomes a Smug Super, causing all kinds of havoc just to show off his power.
Western Animation
- Arcane: At the beginning of the story, Powder is the youngest of Vander's four adopted children who constantly screws up missions due to inexperience or bad luck, and Mylo comments that "she jinxes every job." In "The Base Violence Necessary for Change," she accidentally kills Vander and her adoptive brothers with a bomb while trying to save them. In grief and rage, her older sister Vi repeats what Mylo said earlier and yells at Powder that she was left behind "because you're a jinx!" Starting from "Happy Progress Day!", Powder takes this on as her actual name, calling herself Jinx while believing all she can ever be is a bringer of misfortune, death, and disaster.
- Miraculous Ladybug: In "Daddycop", it's shown that years of everyone calling her Chloe's minion have done a number of Sabrina's self-confidence, convincing her that she is an inherently bad person, even as she's tried to make amends for her past behavior and help people. It's become so bad that it's even affecting her transformation; months after breaking things off with Chloe, her costume is still inspired by her former love for Chloe, even though she recognizes how toxic that relationship was and doesn't want to be that person anymore. Eventually, Ladybug takes her aside, assures her that she's a good person who deserves a second chance, and advises her to stop focusing on the person she used to be and visualize the person she wants to be, at which point Sabrina's costume transforms into something she actually feels comfortable in. Shortly after, she makes more of an effort to change herself, including a radical overhaul of her civilian wardrobe.
- Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur: In the episode "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow", Lunella hears a classmate make mean comments about her hair, saying that her afro puffs look messy. This causes Lunella to start thinking that her natural hair isn't pretty enough, and leads to her making a hair straightener which leads to her hair falling out, gaining sentience, and becoming a supervillain named Mane. After trying and failing to solve the problem herself, Lunella goes to her mom and grandmother to tell them why she lost her hair. They tell her that many black women have faced criticism for how they wear their natural hair. They tell her though that their hair is beautiful, unique, and part of their culture. Their talk gives Lunella the confidence she needs to go after Mane and get her natural hair back.
- My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
- In "Hurricane Fluttershy", it's revealed that Fluttershy was trying to learn to fly as a filly at flight camp, but her Performance Anxiety made her mess up. She got mocked by all the other fillies with the phrase "Fluttershy can hardly fly", traumatizing her to doubt her abilities even as an adult and deeply fearing the humiliation of failure. It affects her so deeply that she can't even accept Twilight and Rainbow's praise for her improvement because she doesn't think it's good enough, and crushes what little confidence she gained. At the end, however, her motivation to finally overcome the bullying gives her a massive burst of speed, allowing her to provide the wing-power necessary to complete the tornado, and win the praise and admiration of the other pegasi.
- In "What Lies Beneath", the Young Six are studying for a friendship exam in the library when Cozy Glow appears. She condescendingly praises them for trying so hard to learn friendship when it "isn't in their nature", listing the reason why each of them (minus Sandbar, the only pony in the group) aren't suited for it, relying on stereotypes to do so (such as calling Ocellus a "love-starved changeling"). The friends are clearly rattled by this even as they try to shake it off, ultimately losing motivation in their studies because they think they'll fail anyway. This spurs the Tree of Harmony itself to test the students and prove to them that they are capable of friendship.
- The Simpsons: A very literal example occurs in "Lisa's Belly". After Bart and Lisa get sick attending a water park, they take medicine that makes them temporarily gain weight. Marge teasingly (but affectionately) calls Lisa "chunky"; as Lisa becomes more paranoid and upset by her appearance, we see the word "CHUNKY" in enormous letters gradually taking up more and more space in her mental world. Marge realizes that she's badly upset her daughter, especially when she makes things worse by insisting that Lisa will soon be her "perfect little girl" again. They ultimately both go to a hypnotherapist, who takes them on a Journey to the Center of the Mind to help. Lisa is shocked to learn that Marge has a similar giant word in her mind—"PLAIN"—and realizes that everyone in town has absorbed insults and comments throughout their whole lives; only Homer, who's fully aware of his own flaws and embraces them, is immune to the psychological distress caused by the words.
- SpongeBob SquarePants:
- In "Artist Unknown", Squidward tries to teach art to SpongeBob, but when SpongeBob turns out to be an Instant Expert whose skills put Squidward to shame, Squidward viciously mocks SpongeBob's skills out of jealousy, causing him to internalize his lack of talent and exile himself in shame. This comes back to bite Squidward when he tries to take credit for one of SpongeBob's sculptures only for it to break, forcing him to track SpongeBob down and try and repair his shattered self-confidence so he can sculpt a replacement.
- The plot of "Whatever Happened To SpongeBob?" is kicked off by SpongeBob's attempts to help people repeatedly backfiring and causing them to call him "idiot boy". SpongeBob comes to believe that he is a good-for-nothing idiot and leaves Bikini Bottom in shame, causing his friends to realize how they've mistreated him, find him, and try convincing him to come back.
