Film / Nurse on Wheels

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Nurse on Wheels is a 1963 film starring Juliet Mills, Ronald Lewis, Joan Sims, Noel Purcell, and Esma Cannon. Despite being produced and directed by Peter Rogers and Gerald Thomas, and having a few of the films' stars, this film was not part of the Carry On... Series.

When Nurse Joanna Jones (Mills) finally passes her driving test, she gets a job as District Nurse for the country village Blandley and moves into Town Farm Cottage with her scatterbrained mother (Cannon). Unfortunately, her patients — store owner Abel Worthy (Purcell), cleaner Mrs. Wood (Joan Hickson), married couple Mr. and Mrs. Beacon (George Woodbridge and Renée Houston), handyman George Judd (Norman Rossington), and spinster Millicent Farthingale (Athene Seyler) — all get on her nerves, as most won't stop complaining about how much they miss her predecessor, Nurse Merrick (Barbara Everest).

However, all isn't bad for Nurse Jones, as she makes friends with Deborah Walcott (Sims), daughter of The Vicar (Raymond Huntley), and meets Henry Edwards (Lewis), a farmer with lots of land, although Mrs. Jones wants Nurse Jones to fall for Dr. Harold Golfrey (Ronald Howard), the young son of Dr. Golfrey Senior (David Horne), who himself is the target of Deborah's affections.

When Ann and Tim Taylor (Amanda Reiss and Jim Dale) need a place for Mrs. Taylor to give birth to her unborn child, they park their caravan in one of Mr. Edwards' fields. Hilarity Ensues as a rift is driven between Nurse Jones and Mr. Edwards, with Nurse Jones wanting to let them stay while Mr. Edwards wants them off his land.

Tropes on Wheels:

• Abhorrent Admirer: George is mad about Nurse Jones and will always find an excuse to flirt with her. Nurse Jones finds this a total annoyance and would much rather be with Mr. Edwards.
• Accidental Misnaming:
  • Dr. Golfrey Senior struggles to remember Nurse Merrick's name during his first meeting with Nurse Jones:
    Dr. Golfrey Senior: Ah, well, you're not a patch on old Herring, Derrick, whatshername.
    Nurse Jones: "Merrick".
    Dr. Golfrey Senior: That's it, "Berrick".
  • Mrs. Jones struggles to remember names, calling Deborah Walcott "Miss Whatnot", "Miss Smallcott", and "Miss Shortcut", and calling Mr. Edwards "Mr. Farmer", "Mr. Whatsit", and "Mr. Henwards".
• Advertised Extra: One of the film's posters adds Norman Rossington, Athene Seyler, Raymond Huntley, Ronald Howard, Joan Hickson, and Renée Houston to the list of stars, despite them only playing supporting roles.
• Affectionate Nickname: Whenever Nurse Jones attends to him, George calls her "Jonesy".
• Alliterative Name:
  • Joanna Jones.
  • Tim Taylor.
• Always Someone Better: When Nurse Jones starts working in Blandley, all of her patients prefer her predecessor, Nurse Merrick, to her, which is a source of great annoyance to her:
  Mrs. Beacon: Nurse Merrick was never late.
  Nurse Jones: I was delayed.
  Mrs. Beacon: Nurse Merrick was never delayed.
  Nurse Jones: May I come in, please?
  Mrs. Beacon: Nurse Merrick never asked, she was more of a friend, Nurse Merrick was.
• Annoying Patient: Most of Nurse Jones' patients are incredibly frustrating to deal help to, seeing as they keep comparing her treatment to Nurse Merrick's. Nurse Merrick even admits to Nurse Jones that they can be infuriating.
• Apology Gift: To make up for her rudeness during their first meeting, Miss Farthingale makes Nurse Jones a pot of her homemade jam.
• Ask a Stupid Question...:
  • When Dr. Golfrey is seeing to a flour-covered Mr. Worthy, who has just suffered a corned beef-related accident:
    Dr. Golfrey: So, you're the, uh, corned beef case, eh?
    Mr. Worthy: Eh, a family-soized tin.
    Dr. Golfrey: Looks more like, er, flour to me.
    Mr. Worthy: That was before.
    Dr. Golfrey: Tell me, how did it happen?
    Mr. Worthy: I was on the roof.
    Dr. Golfrey: What, with the flour? Or the corned beef?
    Mr. Worthy: Noither. What would I be doin' on a roof with flour an' corned beef?
  • When George comes to fix the roof for Mr. Worthy, he falls and lands in a bathtub suspended by rope used to collect the rainwater. Mr. Worthy asks what he's doing up there, and an injured George snaps that he's swimming the Channel.
  • When Mr. Edwards is trying to get the Taylors' caravan off his land:
    Nurse Jones: Let's get thing quite clear, Mr. Edwards. One, this lady is in need of treatment, two, it's my job to provide it, and three, the appropriate regulations state she cannot be moved on for fourteen days.
    Mr. Edwards: But, even if she's on my land?!
    Nurse Jones: Even if she was down a coal mine!
• Comedic Underwear Exposure: George's trousers fall down to reveal his Y-fronts as he attempts to force himself on Nurse Jones.
• Comically Missing the Point:
  • At the start of her driving test, the driving examiner asks Nurse Jones to read out a number plate to test her eyesight, although Nurse Jones doesn't seem to understand why:
    Driving Examiner: Do you see that car down the road? Can you read its number plate from here?
    Nurse Jones: Oh, yes, perfectly.
    Driving Examiner: (Beat) Miss Jones, would you read that number plate for me?
    Nurse Jones: All right. It's "YPJ432". If your eyes are that bad, it's a good thing I'm driving.
  • When George is stuck in a bathtub suspended by rope, Nurse Jones asks Mr. Worthy if he has any ladders, indenting them to be used to rescue him, although at first, Mr. Worthy thinks she's hoping to buy some from him.
  • As Mrs. Taylor starts to give birth, George offers Mr. Taylor a cigarette, but Mr. Taylor says what he really wants is a girl. George, thinking Mr. Taylor wants a bit on the side, is disgusted.
• Curse Cut Short: As Mr. Taylor struggles to start his car, he nearly swears in front of The Vicar:
  Mr. Taylor: Come on, you stubborn ba— Oh, ooh, hello, Vicar.
• Dirty Old Man: While Mr. Beacon is ill, Mrs. Beacon keeps fretting that he "isn't himself" anymore. Nurse Jones doesn't know what this means until he gets better and gooses her, to which Mrs. Beacon happily remarks that "Beacon's himself again".
• Distracted by the Sexy: While driving down the street, George sees the pretty Miss Maitland walking the other way and takes his eyes off the road to admire her. In doing so, he crashes into Mr. Worthy's egg display.
• Double Meaning: Nurse Jones does her Driving Tests with the Top School of Motoring. This name works on two levels — that out of all schools of motoring it is the best, and also because a Mr. Top runs it.
• Drives Like Crazy:
  • Nurse Jones is a very unconfident driver. She swerves and jerks down the road as she grinds her gears and only manages to pass her Driving Test thanks to her examiner suffering an accident that made him unable to speak for an hour:
    Mr. Edwards: You can't take a corner like that!
    Nurse Jones: Well, I just did.
  • Dr. Golfrey Senior is a terrible driver, and gives Nurse Jones' bicycle no room on the road:
    Nurse Jones: You might at least make some sort of signal... Doctor.
    Dr. Golfrey Senior: What'cha talking about, girl? Signals are for railways.
• Driving Test: After 106 driving lessons, Nurse Jones takes a disastrous driving test that she only passes as her driving examiner finds himself unable to speak following an accident with his pipe:
  Driving Examiner: All right, Miss Jones. Now then, I want you to reverse 'round that corner, travel several yards up the road, and park the car by the kerb. (Beat) You do know how to reverse?
  Nurse Jones: Oh, yes, I can do it backwards.
• Embarrassing Nickname: After a difficult visit to Miss Farthingale and her cat, Puffball, Nurse Jones nicknames her "Old Cat-Mad". Miss Farthingale learns this nickname herself when she meets Nurse Jones' dotty mother.
• Faint in Shock: As Mrs. Wood eavesdrops on Deborah buying goods for the caravan baby, she mistakenly thinks that Deborah is buying them for a baby she is pregnant with, causing her to faint and fall from her hiding place.
• Fee Fi Faux Pas: When Nurse Jones and Dr. Golfrey meet, the two accidentally insult the other's parent:
  Dr. Golfrey: No, you see, I'm Dr. Golfrey.
  Nurse Jones: Oh, really? Then who's that old idiot?
  Dr. Golfrey: Well, that old... is my father.
  Nurse Jones: Oh, dear.
  Dr. Golfrey: That's all right. You'll be working for me, you see, I do the National Health side. As a matter of fact, I've been trying to get you on the telephone, but I simply couldn't make myself understood. Tell me, who was that funny old woman that answered the phone?
  Nurse Jones: That was my mother.
  Dr. Golfrey: Well, I'm... I'm so sorry. That makes two of us now, doesn't it?
• The Film of the Book: The film was based on John Burke's novel Nurse is a Neighbour.
• Gossipy Hens: Blandley is full of them. Mrs. Beacon is on edge that Nurse Jones may have heard gossip that she and Mr. Beacon sleep in separate bedrooms, while Mrs. Jones tells Deborah that there's enough gossip in this village without her adding to it. At the very end of the film, Mr. Edwards reveals to Nurse Jones that Mr. Worthy is the one at the centre of all the gossip spreading.
• The Ghost:
  • There is another Mrs. Jones living in Blandley, but she is only referenced when Mr. Edwards is called by the other Mrs. Jones.
  • Another unseen character is Mrs. Neagle, who calls The Vicar on the phone.
• Hospital Hottie: Nurse Jones is a sweet young woman taking the position of District Nurse for the sleepy village Blandley, and is much different looking than her elderly predecessor, Nurse Merrick. Some patients like Mr. Beacon are uncomfortable with such a pretty girl giving them blanket baths, whereas others including George find Nurse Jones highly desirable.
• Hysterical Woman: When Nurse Jones crashes her car into Dr. Golfrey Senior's, Mrs. Jones begins screaming hysterically despite the fact that no one was hurt.
• The Klutz: Mr. Worthy is awfully clumsy. Highlights include knocking over half of his stock when trying to catch a glimpse of Nurse Jones on her first day and falling through his store's roof during a repair job.
• Last-Name Basis: Mrs. Beacon doesn't call her husband by his first name, instead calling him "Beacon".
• The Lost Lenore: Mrs. Walcott is to The Vicar. After she died, he shut himself off from others, unable to understand why she had to die.
• Low Clearance: When George brings Nurse Jones to the Taylors' caravan, Mr. Taylor hits his head on an open cabinet door while heading out to meet her.
• Malaproper: After crashing a Land Rover and hurting his arm, George tells Nurse Jones he has another "stale fracture on me radio".
• Mistaken for Pregnant:
  • As Nurse Jones tells her mother about Mr. Edwards, George arrives in a panic and tells her that Mr. Edwards is trying to get the Taylors off his land, despite the fact that she's going to have a baby. George and Nurse Jones leave in a hurry, while Mrs. Jones, mulling over the words "Mr. Edwards" and "a baby", thinks that Nurse Jones is pregnant and yelps in horror.
  • When Deborah goes shopping for the caravan baby, both Mr. Worthy and Mrs. Wood think that the baby is her own.
• Mistaken Identity:
  • When telling Deborah the news about Nurse Jones and Dr. Golfrey's dinner together, Mrs. Jones is under the impression that Deborah is a Bishop's wife rather than The Vicar's daughter.
  • When she calls Mr. Edwards on the telephone, Mrs. Jones is mistaken for a different Mrs. Jones whose husband is still alive.
• May–December Romance: When Nurse Jones tells her mother she's going out to dinner with Dr. Golfrey, Mrs. Jones initially balks at this, thinking she meant Mr. Golfrey Senior.
• Meaningful Name: The film is set in the village of Blandley, a perfect name for a sleepy place in the English country.
• Meet Cute: Nurse Jones and Mr. Edwards have one when he nearly mows her down in his Land Rover:
  Mr. Edwards: My fault entirely. Travelling much too fast. No harm done, I hope?
  Nurse Jones: Oh, no. None. I should've looked where I was going.
  Mr. Edwards: If you had, we wouldn't have met. Henry Edwards, I farm.
  Nurse Jones: Joanna Jones, I nurse.
• No Full Name Given: We don't get to know Mrs. Jones, Dr. Golfrey Senior, The Vicar, Mr. and Mrs. Beacon, Mrs. Wood, Nurse Merrick, Miss Maitland, or Mr. Top's first names.
• Panicky Expectant Father: When Nurse Jones is checking up on Mrs. Taylor's pregnancy, she tells Mr. Taylor to look more anxious so that Mr. Edwards will feel more guilty about trying to get them off his land.
• Posthumous Character:
  • Mrs. Walcott, Deborah's mother and The Vicar's wife, died a few months before the start of the film. This is why the Vicar is so shut off from the rest of the village, he can't accept why she had to die.
  • Mrs. Wood also discusses her deceased husband with Mr. Worthy, remembering how he used to try and hide his drunkenness from her.
  • During a phone call to Mr. Edwards, Mrs. Jones mentions that her husband (and Nurse Jones' father) has been dead for nine years.
• Putting the "Medic" in Comedic: Much of the film's comedy comes from the difficult patients that Nurse Jones has to deal with, such as Nurse Jones tricking Miss Farthingale into taking her eyedrops or Mr. Worthy getting a toilet seat glued to his behind.
• Rhymes on a Dime: When Mr. Edwards mentions that his tea has salt in it, he tries to backtrack and act like it's fine:
  Mr. Edwards: Drink a pint of milk a day an'... salt your water once a quarter.
• Right in Front of Me: After a long day of patients comparing her to Nurse Merrick, Nurse Jones tells her mother that if one more person mentions Nurse Merrick's name to her again, she'll yank their tongues out with rusty forceps. Mrs. Jones then tells Nurse Jones she has a visitor, Nurse Merrick, who is sitting only a few feet away. Luckily, she takes no offense and sees potential in Nurse Jones, as her first day was the same.
• Scatterbrained Senior: Mrs. Jones is a dotty old woman who is always misplacing things, can't remember the day, and struggles to use a telephone:
  Mrs. Jones: I don't pretend, I am muddle-headed. Except where my girl's concerned.
• Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Dr. Golfrey Senior is rather rude to Nurse Jones when he first meets her, blatantly telling her that she's nowhere near as good as Nurse Merrick, who he can't even be bothered to remember the name of. Following this, Nurse Jones appropriately calls him a "silly old tortoise".
• Sexy Secretary: Dr. Golfrey hires the pretty Miss Maitland to be his secretary, much to the disappointment of Deborah who had hoped for the position herself.
• Shout-Out:
  • On one of his attempts to make Nurse Jones a better driver, Mr. Edwards asks her if Yehudi Menuhin could teach his wife to play the violin without breaking it over her head. Nurse Jones says why not, as he seems very nice on the telly.
  • When George bursts into the Jones' residence to tell Nurse Jones about the situation with Mrs. Taylor, Mrs. Jones is shocked to see him so suddenly, asking who he is and if he's "escaped from The Archers".
• Sneeze of Doom: After falling through his roof, Mr. Worthy lands face-first in a flour sack. This makes him sneeze, which causes a tin of corned beef to fall from a high shelf, hit him on the head, and knock him unconscious.
• Steven Ulysses Perhero: When Mrs. Jones can't remember the name of Mr. Edwards, a farmer, she accidentally calls him "Mr. Farmer".
• Tagline: "Injected with the infectious humour of Carry On Nurse!".
• Tap on the Head: When Nurse Jones and Mr. Edwards visit Abel Worthy General Stores, Mr. Worthy falls through the roof and face-first into a flour sack, causing him to sneeze and take a falling tin of corned beef to the head. This knocks him unconscious, but he awakens soon after with only a bit of pain in his head.
• Tempting Fate: When George is stuck in a bathtub suspended by rope, Mr. Worthy reassures him that they'll get him down in a minute. Once this is said, one of the ropes snaps and George is sent crashing on the counter under him.
• Thunder As Divine Response: Implied; while Nurse Jones and Mrs. Beacon are arguing over who is to wake Mr. Beacon, Nurse Jones loses her patience and asks who is to be, just as thunder roars outside the cottage and wakes Mr. Beacon up:
  Mrs. Beacon: Seems you've got powerful support, Nurse Jones.
• Tongue Trauma: After Mrs. Jones asks her how her day was, a fed-up Nurse Jones tells her that if one more person mentions Nurse Merrick's name to her again, she'll yank their tongues out with rusty forceps.
• Undercrank: A few shots during Nurse Jones and Mr. Edwards' disastrous driving trips are sped up for maximum audience hilarity.
• The Vicar: Deborah's father is the vicar of Blandley, a stuffy sort of man with a passion for gardening.
• Wardrobe Malfunction: When George tries to force himself on Nurse Jones, his trousers fall down around his ankles.
• Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Mrs. Wood fakes a sprained ankle so she can be the first in Blandley to meet Nurse Jones and see how she compares to Nurse Merrick.