Film / Doctor in Distress (1963)

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Doctor in Distress is a 1963 film and the fifth of the Doctor... Series. It stars Dirk Bogarde, Samantha Eggar, James Robertson Justice, Donald Houston, Barbara Murray, Dennis Price, and Special Guest Mylène Demongeot.

After injuring his back in a fall, Sir Lancelot Spratt (Justice) is placed under the care of physiotherapist Iris Marchant (Murray). While Sir Lancelot doesn't like her at first, he quickly falls in love and turns to Dr. Simon Sparrow (Bogarde) for help, although Dr. Sparrow has his own romantic business, namely that he has fallen in love with Delia Mallory (Eggar), a model.

While Sir Lancelot is unable to take Iris out on consistent dates as she is busy taking care of Major Tommy Ffrench (Houston), Dr. Sparrow uses his connections with Dr. Blacker (Price) and sends him off to Banton House Nature Clinic & Retreat in order to help him lose some weight. This proves unfruitful, however, as Sir Lancelot can't stand it there and chooses to buy a corset instead.

Sir Lancelot then has Iris followed by a private investigator, Mr. Holly (Timothy Bateson). Once Mr. Holly suffers from appendicitis, Sir Lancelot chooses to do the job himself, only succeeding in frightening the life out of a woman on the train (Fenella Fielding) with his gruff demeanor and embarrassing himself in front of Iris, especially once he manages to accidentally follow the nervous woman from the train home. Now Sir Lancelot is left with only one option — to try to propose to Iris as Hilarity Ensues.

Meanwhile, Dr. Sparrow and Delia's relationship is strained when she goes off to Rome to star in The Sorrows of Salome for American movie magnate Luther Heilbronn (Leo McKern), but his chances for romance aren't completely dashed when he meets the lovely Swedish Sonja Stromberg (Demongeot) and her sister, Helga (also Demongeot).

Not to be mistaken for the Doctor Who song, "Doctor in Distress".

Tropes in Distress:

• AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle: When Sonja tells Dr. Sparrow about her sister, Ilse, she tells him she is a "police cons-table".
• Accidental Misnaming:
  • A stone with Sir Lancelot's name engraved on it gives his last name as "Pratt" rather than "Spratt", much to his outrage.
  • Mr. Heilbronn calls Dr. Sparrow "Dr. Robin" the first time he meets him.
• Acquired Error at the Printer: The ceremonial stone Sir Lancelot is asked to lay has his name engraved on it. This wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that the master mason accidentally wrote "Sir Lancelot Pratt" rather than "Sir Lancelot Spratt".
• Actor Allusion:
  • Mr. Heilbronn wants to make Dr. Sparrow a film star, only for the doctor to refuse immediately. This was a cheeky nod to the fact that between Doctor at Large and this film, Dirk Bogarde had become an international star thanks to his roles in films such as Victim (1961).
  • When Dr. Sparrow answers the phone to the call telling him that Delia's got to go to Rome for The Sorrows of Salome, he does so at first in a Mancunian accent. This was the same accent that Bogarde had just used to play Hugo Barrett in The Servant, which, despite coming out a few months later, had been shot right before this film.
• Added Alliterative Appeal:
  • When Dr. Sparrow mentions how Sir Lancelot doesn't know about ladies' hearts, he admits he does know about their lungs, their lights, and their livers.
  • Dr. Sparrow doesn't have a high opinion of Mr. Heilbronn, calling him a "midget movie magnate".
• Advertised Extra: Dennis Price is listed alongside the film's stars in the opening titles and on the poster yet has under five minutes of screentime.
• Alliterative Name:
  • Sonja Stromberg.
  • Mr. Heilbronn's real name is "Harry Heilbronn".
• All There in the Script: Some characters' names aren't said in the film:
  • The Ward Sister's surname is "Bond".
  • The patient in the bed next to Mr. Lewis is called "Grimes".
  • The patient at Banton House Nature Clinic & Retreat who annoys Sir Lancelot is called "Meyer".
  • Miss Steele's first name is "Rona".
  • Sir Lancelot's private investigator is called "Mr. Holly".
• Always Identical Twins: Sonja and Helga look exactly alike, helped by the fact that they are both played by Mylène Demongeot.
• Annoying Laugh: Rosie has a high-pitched manic giggle that gets on everyone's nerves except for the Australian sailor who fancies her.
• Artistic License – History: In-Universe; Dr. Sparrow complains about The Sorrows of Salome as Salome never made it to Rome in real life, but Delia doesn't care so long as she appears in the film.
• Bandage Mummy: One of the patients, Mrs. Roberts, has her entire face covered with bandages, with only her eyes, nose, and mouth exposed.
• The Big Damn Kiss: The Australian sailor gives Rosie a big damn kiss after she agrees to marry him.
• Big Eater: After spending some time at Banton House Nature Clinic & Retreat to lose weight, Sir Lancelot sneaks out and goes to Mum's Diner for a meal of treble baked beans, treble fried bread, treble egg, and treble chips.
• The Bore: During his stay at the Banton House Nature Clinic & Retreat, Sir Lancelot is bored stiff by Meyer, a fellow resident who wants nothing more than to chat about his medical experiences with him.
• Brief Accent Imitation: While Dr. Sparrow is at Delia's flat, her phone rings, and he puts on a Mancunian accent while pretending to be from the Camberwell Sewage Disposal Unit to make her laugh. He quickly drops the voice when he learns that the call was to let Delia know she's got to go to Rome for The Sorrows of Salome.
• British Stuffiness: The sensuality of the beautiful Swedish twins Sonja and Helga proves to be too much for Dr. Sparrow, who flees Sonja's apartment when he hears their sister, Ilse, also wants to meet him.
• Clothing Damage: Sir Lancelot rips his trousers when he tries to exit his car through the sunroof.
• Comedic Underwear Exposure: After Sir Lancelot rips his trousers getting out of his car through the sunroof, he walks through Hampden Cross General Hospital with his underwear showing at the back.
• Comically Missing the Point:
  • When Gillibrand is examining Mrs. Parry, he asks her where she got her pain (meaning where on her body), only for her to recall that she got it in the kitchen.
  • Mrs. Parry later has more difficulty understanding when Dr. Sparrow discusses her constipation with her:
    Dr. Sparrow: Do you keep your bowels open regularly?
    Mrs. Parry: Regular as clockwork. Every fortnight.
    Dr. Sparrow: What do you take for constipation? Castor oil or cascara?
    Mrs. Parry: Oh, nothing like that. I just take my knitting.
• Continuity Nod: Dr. Sparrow references Doctor in the House (1954) twice:
  • When he reassures Stuart not to let Sir Lancelot worry him too much, he recalls how Sir Lancelot threw the whole book at him, reminiscing on all the trouble he got into as a medical student.
  • When he tells the medical students that he'll be working with them until Sir Lancelot recovers, he tells one that he wants no questions about the bleeding time from him, referencing his own confusion on the topic.
• Cool Car: After returning from Italy, Delia now drives a crimson Maserati Sebring.
• Crazy Jealous Guy:
  • Sir Lancelot becomes a crazy, jealous guy in his quest to get Iris. When he tries to call her, but Tommy picks up the phone instead, his first thought is that he wants his head on a platter.
  • When Dr. Sparrow hears that Delia is going to go to Rome to appear in The Sorrows of Salome, he jealously refuses out of the fear that Mr. Heilbronn will try to take advantage of her.
• Creator Cameo: The author of the original novels, Richard Gordon, once again appears as Stubbins, an anaesthetist.
• Cute Bruiser: Sonja is a pretty young girl, but is much stronger than she looks and knows how to fight men who look much stronger than her. Her sister Helga is just the same, according to her.
• A Day in the Limelight: While Dr. Sparrow is still intertwined with the plot, this film has more focus on Sir Lancelot than any other in the Doctor... Series as we follow him falling in love with Iris.
• Deadpan Snarker: Now that the two view each other as equals, Dr. Sparrow has no problem in taking the mickey out of Sir Lancelot:
  Sir Lancelot: You know... you're quite wrong to despise these old folk remedies. I've got a Maiden Aunt who swears by garlic. Never without a bit next to skin. I'm convinced that's why she's lived to be 92.
  Dr. Sparrow: Perhaps that's why she's still a maiden at 92.
• Delayed Reaction: It takes Mrs. Clapper a second to realise Sir Lancelot is ordering a death threat instead of lunch after he calls Iris and hears Tommy's voice:
  Mrs. Clapper: Excuse me, sir, but what would you like for lunch?
  Sir Lancelot: A man...
  Mrs. Clapper: Yes, sir.
  Sir Lancelot: I'll have his head on a platter.
  Mrs. Clapper: Very good, sir. And I'll do a little braised celery... (Beat) What did you say, sir?
• Did Not Get the Girl: Despite all of Sir Lancelot's attempts to get close to Iris, he just can't beat Tommy, especially when he stops Obfuscating Disability, and she believes it is the work of a miracle.
• Double Entendre:
  • When Dr. Blacker is on the phone with Dr. Sparrow, he tells him that his hands are pretty full as usual. What he doesn't tell Dr. Sparrow is that his Sexy Secretary Miss Steele is sitting on his lap while he is grabbing hold of one of her breasts.
  • As Delia is arguing with Dr. Sparrow about going to Rome to be in The Sorrows of Salome, she says that Mr. Heilbronn told her that he's going to take her and mould her and make her. A jealous Dr. Sparrow responds, "That he will certainly try to do".
• Drives Like Crazy: Sir Lancelot is a terrible road hog, refusing to let even an ambulance pass him by.
• The Drunken Sailor: While complaining to Dr. Sparrow about his day, Sir Lancelot calls the Australian sailor who annoyed him earlier a drunken sailor.
• Embarrassing Nickname: Sir Lancelot brings up a nickname from his childhood in an attempt to get closer to Iris:
  Iris: What would you like me to call you? Just plain "Lancelot" or have you got some sort of a nickname?
  Sir Lancelot: Well, as a matter of fact, I have, but it hasn't been used since I was at school.
  Iris: May I share the secret?
  Sir Lancelot: Well, it's... "Porker".
  Iris: Yes, well, little boys can be very unkind. (Beat) And observant, too.
• Eye Scream: When Sir Lancelot opens his umbrella on the train, the woman sitting in the same compartment muses he could've taken her eye out.
• Faint in Shock: A nervous woman on the train faints when Dr. Sparrow tries to share a compartment with her.
• Fictional Document: At the railway station bookstall, Sir Lancelot inspects a book called True Tales of Love and Jealousy.
• First-Name Basis:
  • After watching Dr. Sparrow's career blossom over the years, Sir Lancelot has become close enough with the doctor to call him "Simon" on a regular basis.
  • Iris chooses to be on a first-name basis with Tommy, as she's rather fond of him:
    Tommy: If anybody could do the trick, you could, Marchant, old girl! Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
    Iris: "Iris" is the moniker.
    Tommy: Oh, Iris!
• Flirtatious Smack on the Ass: As the medical students walk down one of the hallways of Hampden Cross General Hospital, one of them grabs a passing nurse, whirls her around, and smacks her rear.
• Florence Nightingale Effect: Tommy and Sir Lancelot both fall for Iris after she helps them with their physiotherapy.
• Follow That Car: While Sir Lancelot is trailing Iris, she gets into a cab. Sir Lancelot then finds one of his own and asks the driver to "Follow that cab".
• Funny Foreigner: Sonja and Helga Stromberg are a pair of perky Swedish sexpots who say words like "trouserings".
• Garlic Is Abhorrent: Dr. Sparrow claims the reason Sir Lancelot's aunt is still a maiden at the age of 92 is due to the fact that she is never without a bit of garlic next to her skin.
• Gasshole: Mrs. Parry suffers from wind, causing her to burp in front of Dr. Sparrow, Sister, and the medical students.
• Get Out!:
  • Sir Lancelot kicks out Dr. Sparrow when he suggests he's never been in love before:
    Sir Lancelot: Get out of my house, you miserable, bat-eared quack!
  • While staying at the Banton House Nature Clinic & Retreat, Sir Lancelot asks a nurse for the drinks list. When she tells him there isn't a list and that he can choose between barley water, soda water, or water, he yells at her to get out.
  • After breaking up with her boyfriend, Sonja kicks him out of her apartment rather violently by punching him in the face and watching him fall down the stairs.
• The Ghost: Several characters are mentioned but never seen, such as:
  • Dr. Avery, who is asked for over the Tannoy.
  • Nobby, a crane operator.
  • Blodwen, Owen, David, Dawn, and Caradog Parry, some of Mrs. Parry's children.
  • Mr. Lucas, Meyer's (incompetent) surgeon.
  • Frank, Mrs. Whittaker's husband, who can't stand women with false teeth.
  • Ilse Stromberg, Sonja and Helga's sister.
• Given Name Reveal: Ever since Doctor in the House (1954), Richard Gordon (author of the Doctor novels) had been popping up in the films as Stubbins, an anaesthetist. In his final appearance, Stubbins is given the first name "George".
• Gratuitous Italian: Delia and Dr. Sparrow greet each other with a "Ciao, caro" and a "Ciao" respectively upon her return from Italy.
• Help, I'm Stuck!: After kissing Iris in the Hampden Cross General Hospital bathroom, Sir Lancelot sits in the sink and gets his rear end stuck in it. When Iris tries to free him, the hot tap is turned on, causing much discomfort.
• Hidden Depths: We learn a few surprising facts about Sir Lancelot in this film — namely, he can play the piano, that he owns a butterfly collection, and that he is skilled in Judo.
• Home-Early Surprise: When Sir Lancelot learns that Mr. Lewis slipped a disc after jumping out a window, he jokes to his medical students, "I suppose the husband came in through the front door".
• Hospital Hottie: Iris Marchant is two things — a physiotherapist, and attractive enough to warm even Sir Lancelot's cold heart.
• Hypocritical Humour: After hearing that Mr. Lewis is suffering from a slipped disc, Sir Lancelot tells him that the best thing for it is to go under the knife. However, when Sir Lancelot slips a disc himself later that day, and Dr. Sparrow reminds him about what he said earlier, Sir Lancelot refuses immensely.
• Hysterical Woman: While trying to track Iris incognito, Sir Lancelot shares a train compartment with a dark-haired woman, who is quickly unnerved by his gruff demeanor and flees the compartment in a panic, and later faints when she thinks Dr. Sparrow is following her too.
• Immediate Self-Contradiction: Sir Lancelot refuses to let the Australian sailor and Rosie sit in the same First-Class compartment as him and Dr. Sparrow... until he is offered some rum, and he is all for the idea.
• Inconsistent Spelling:
  • Tommy's last name is "French" on the DVD subtitles, but "Ffrench" in the script.
  • Mylène Demongeot's character is called "Sonja Stromberg" on the DVD subtitles and the film's trailer, but "Sonia Stronberg" in the script.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: When Dr. Sparrow hears that Sonja and Helga's little sister, Ilse, who is every bit as much of a sexpot as the two of them are, is currently in London, the already out-of-his-depth doctor takes a quick swig from the bottle he is holding.
• In-Series Nickname: Tommy claims he was known as "Tiger" in Malaya.
• Jabba Table Manners: One of the men at Mum's Diner stuffs food into his mouth with reckless abandon, much to the disgust of Dr. Sparrow.
• Kindly Housekeeper: Sir Lancelot has Mrs. Clapper to do the cooking and cleaning.
• Laser-Guided Karma: Sir Lancelot refuses to let an ambulance overtake him when he is driving to Hampden Cross General Hospital, even though the ambulance man is clearly desperate to get through. When Sir Lancelot gets trapped in his own parking space by cars that are too close for him to open his doors, that same ambulance parks behind him, while the ambulance man retorts that he'll have to wait for them now.
• Last-Second Word Swap: When Sir Lancelot complains about the ceremonial stone engraving giving his last name as "Pratt", he growls how his name should actually be spelled:
  Sir Lancelot: My name is "Spratt" with an "S"! "S" for "Spleen"! "P" for "Prostate"! "R" for "Rrrump"! "A" for "Ar... poplexy"! And two "T's" for two— Who contrived this disgusting insult?
• Love Triangle: Iris is desired by both Sir Lancelot and Tommy.
• Maiden Aunt: On the topic of old folk remedies, Sir Lancelot tells Dr. Sparrow about his maiden aunt, who always has garlic on her skin. Dr. Sparrow is convinced the garlic is why she's still a maiden.
• Malaproper: Sonja doesn't have the best English, such as when she tells Dr. Sparrow, "You are skinny but have the lovable, no?".
• Massive Numbered Siblings: Mrs. Parry has so many children that she can't remember if she has nine or ten.
• Newspaper-Thin Disguise: Dr. Sparrow mistakes a man in Mum's Diner for Sir Lancelot hiding behind a newspaper. After some embarrassment, he moves over to the next table, where he sees Sir Lancelot actually hiding behind a newspaper.
• No Full Name Given:
  • We don't get to know Rosie, Clive, or Johnny's last names.
  • The same can be said for Dr. Blacker, Mr. Bradby, Stuart, Gillibrand, Mrs. Parry, Miss Wick, Lady Willoughby, Mr. Lewis, Mrs. Clapper, Nurse Bossom, Miss Minton, Mrs. Johnson, Mrs. Brown, and Mrs. Roberts' first names.
• Obfuscating Disability: Tommy pretends he is unable to use his legs to get closer to Iris, his physiotherapist. It seems the jig is up when he tries to attack Sir Lancelot in a fit of rage and is seen walking perfectly fine by Sir Lancelot, Dr. Sparrow, and Iris herself, but Iris just sees it as a miracle.
• Oddball in the Series: This is the only Doctor film not to be based directly on one of Richard Gordon's novels, and the only one to have Sir Lancelot in the lead rather than just as a supporting character.
• Of Corsets Funny: Sir Lancelot buys a Diabolo corset to look skinnier, but it can't hold his stomach and bursts.
• Off with His Head!: Sir Lancelot remarks he wants Tommy's head on a platter when he calls Iris and hears his voice instead, seeing him as a romantic threat.
• OOC Is Serious Business: When Sir Lancelot begins to cool down after falling for Iris, it causes alarm in his patients:
  Grimes: 'Ere, what's come over 'im? 'E used to swear at 'em all like blue murder.
  Mr. Lewis: There's something wrong... and I don't like it.
  Grimes: Nor do I. Makes me feel rotten.
• Pain to the Ass: When Sir Lancelot is stuck rear-first in a sink, the hot tap is accidentally switched on and burns his rear end.
• Parking Problems: When Sir Lancelot parks in his reserved space at Hampden Cross General Hospital, the two adjacent cars are too close, and he is unable to open his doors. When he tries to reverse out, an ambulance parks behind him and forces him to wait until it is ready to move.
• Pink Elephants: As Gillibrand tells Dr. Sparrow of Hampden Cross General Hospital's latest case, the way he describes it makes Dr. Sparrow think he's been drinking:
  Dr. Sparrow: What kind of a case is it?
  Gillibrand: Well, I haven't seen anything quite like it, sir.
  Dr. Sparrow: You mean three heads?
  Gillibrand: Er, no, poodles.
  Dr. Sparrow: "Poodles"?
  Gillibrand: Er, yes, sir. Pink.
  Dr. Sparrow: You been at the ether?
• Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Sonja is short and plucky yet has a killer right hook as her boyfriend finds out after she dumps him.
• Popping Buttons: Sir Lancelot's new Diabolo corset can't hold his girth and gives way, causing several of his buttons to spring off.
• Putting the "Medic" in Comedic: Lots of the film's humour comes from situations happening at Hampden Cross General Hospital, such as Sir Lancelot seeing that Mr. Holly, the private investigator he hired, has been put to sleep for an operation and then trying to wake him up as he's paying him good money to do his job.
• Romance on the Set: In-Universe; Dr. Sparrow doesn't want Delia to go to Rome to be in The Sorrows of Salome out of a fear that Mr. Heilbronn will use the opportunity to take advantage of her.
• Sequel Non-Entity:
  • Despite planning to marry Joy in Doctor at Large, she is nowhere to be seen in this film, and Dr. Sparrow is now quite a ladies' man.
  • Despite being married in the last film, Sir Lancelot falls for Delia, with no mention of what happened to Lady Spratt.
• Series Continuity Error: Despite retiring at the start of Doctor in Love, Sir Lancelot is now working at Hampden Cross General Hospital with no mention of why he gave up his retirement.
• Sexy Secretary: Dr. Blacker's secretary is Miss Steele, a pretty young girl who wears short skirts and has a large bust.
• Shirtless Scene:
  • Sir Lancelot is shirtless when Iris examines his back.
  • One of the extras in the steam room isn't wearing a shirt.
• Shout-Out:
  • When Sir Lancelot suggests playing the piano for Iris, Dr. Sparrow asks him, "Random gems from The Student Prince?".
  • The railway station bookstall has several magazines, including Modern Woman, World Soccer, Scottish Field, Good Housekeeping, and In Britain. There is also a copy of Mr Norris Changes Trains.
• Shout-Out to Shakespeare: Mrs. Clapper refers to Sir Lancelot's Sleepwalking as a "Lady Macbeth routine".
• Show Within a Show: Mr. Heilbronn's latest film is to be called The Sorrows of Salome. Delia hopes to appear in it as a handmaiden.
• Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Trailer: Donald Houston and Barbara Murray appear in the film's trailer, but aren't listed with the other stars, while Dennis Price isn't included at all!
• Sleepwalking: A side effect of falling in love with Iris is that Sir Lancelot has begun to sleepwalk around the house and even sleep-play the piano and sleep-swordfight!
• The Smurfette Principle: Out of all the medical students at Hampden Cross General Hospital, there is only one female — Miss Wick.
• Special Guest: Mylène Demongeot as Sonja and Helga Stromberg.
• Stage Names: Mr. "Luther" Heilbronn's real first name is "Harry".
• Staircase Tumble: Sonja's ex-boyfriend falls down the stairs after she punches him in the face.
• Status Quo Is God: Sir Lancelot becomes a lot nicer once he falls in love with Iris. This doesn't last, however, and by the end of the film, he's back to his old grumpy self.
• Subtlety Failure: Sir Lancelot attempts to go undercover to track Iris at the railway station and on the train, but his dark glasses, large umbrella, and tendency to walk into things while trying to avoid looking at her cause all and sundry to notice him.
• Suddenly Shouting: When Dr. Sparrow takes charge of the medical students, he tends to shout at them when they get their facts wrong, just as Sir Lancelot did with him as a medical student:
  Dr. Sparrow: Why am I doing this, Gillibrand?
  Gillibrand: Practise, sir?
  Dr. Sparrow: Thoroughness, Gillibrand! Thoroughness!
• Tagline: "It's that incurable Doctor team in their NEWEST and SAUCIEST!".
• Talk to the Fist: When she's kicking him out of her apartment, Sonja decks her ex-boyfriend in the face and sends him down the stairs.
• That Came Out Wrong: While rehearsing his love confession for Iris, Sir Lancelot cuts himself off when his words don't sound as good for him as he'd hoped:
  Sir Lancelot: Your every gesture, I have interpreted with hope... and your every move I've had carefully watched. No, blast it. I don't mean that.
• Token Minority: The group of medical students under Dr. Sparrow's wing is all white, barring one Indian student.
• Took a Level in Kindness: After falling in love with Iris, Sir Lancelot becomes much more pleasant to be around and doesn't yell anymore, which makes his patients quite uncomfortable.
• Trrrilling Rrrs: When angrily spelling his surname, Sir Lancelot tells one of the medical students, "'R' for 'Rrrump'!".
• Twin Threesome Fantasy: Dr. Sparrow is attracted to Sonja and Helga, and luckily enough, it seems the two lust over him too. However, the idea of a foursome with their sister Ilse is too much for him, so he slips out of the apartment when no one is looking.
• Tyop on the Cover: The Australian DVD misspells Leo McKern's name, calling him "Leop McKern".
• We Want Our Jerk Back!: After becoming noticeably nicer thanks to his infatuation with Iris, the patients at Hampden Cross General Hospital don't appreciate his new behaviour and miss the old nasty Sir Lancelot.
• What Could Have Been: In-Universe; Mr. Heilbronn wants Dr. Sparrow to star in The Sorrows of Salome as John the Baptist, only for Dr. Sparrow to put his foot down the second he realises what is going on, wanting no part in it.
• "Which Restroom?" Dilemma: While trying to covertly follow Iris at the railway station, Sir Lancelot ducks into a doorway so she won't spot him as she leaves the book stall. As he hides, an annoyed woman passes, asking, "Do you mind?", to which Sir Lancelot apologises and walks away. Unbeknownst to Sir Lancelot is that the doorway he was hiding in was the door to the ladies' loos.