FailedASpotCheck / Not Always Right

How does a person miss not one, not two, but THREE signs indicating a toilet to his immediate left and right in the galley, and then arrive at the conclusion that the bloody door he entered, with the very clear Perspex glass showing the view from nearly 10,000 feet and climbing, must be the toilets?!

— "To Be Fair, If He’d Opened It, He Would’ve Crapped Himself"

Not Always Right and its many sister sites include far too many people who just don't notice what's two feet in front of them.

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Not Always Right

The only explanation for these examples. Short version, a woman fails to notice her purse is on her arm, and another woman thinks her child has been lost when they're in a child harness on her back.
And here, we have a critical failure... a customer asks if they have a certain movie, and the clerk has a copy of the requested film in their hand. Which, somehow, the customer doesn't see.
Normally, seeing a man walk out of a store, gun in hand, would be cause for concern. But not in this case — it's a gun store.
A man walks into a heritage fair, accuses the submitter (and essentially everyone else there) of being Mexican and orders him to go back to Mexico. The heritage fair in question is the Scottish Highland Games.
This woman somehow managed to miss that the register was dismantled, the screen was off, and the three signs saying it was out of order. And when told it was undergoing maintenance, she accused the manager at it of being lazy. Especially amusing, given how much the manager had just assumed no one would be stupid enough to do so.
This guy, upon learning that a store is unable to accept credit or debit cards at the time, tries to claim that "Y'all need to have signs up for that." As the cashier points out, there are no fewer than three such signs, including one right in his face, that he is failing to notice.
Far too many stories involving people who don't understand that businesses are closed.
- These construction workers visit a store, missing multiple cues that not only is it not open, it's not finished being built.
  [They] walked past the signs advertising our opening, ducked under the tape and went around the entire store, stepping over cables and around boxes, past multiple people installing and filling shelves, then approached someone behind the counter who wasn’t in uniform and was humming and dancing to music without at any point noticing something was off. And they had the nerve to demand we serve them anyway because we “weren’t clear enough about not being open”.
- This guy tries to enter a gym, but is unable to because the doors are locked. There is a sign on the door stating they are closed for a week for renovations, and he can clearly see people inside repainting the walls. He still calls their number and has to ask them if they're open.
- This guy is too stupid to realize that a store with the lights off, no customers, and a locked door is CLOSED, and that the correct way to solve this problem is not to throw bricks at the door. And he still attempted to make an order after being directly told that the door was locked and the store was closed.
- Similarly, this guy completely ignored the multiple signs and notices on the doors and windows stating that the restaurant was closed and throws a brick through the front window to let himself in. When in court for both civil and criminal charges, his argument is that “there should have been a sign saying you were closed.”
- Yet another case. Oh, and this customer complained to corporate and got a gift card to rub in the submitter's face.
- This woman doesn't realise that the coffee shop is closed, even though the lights are off, the chairs are up, and the donut racks aren't fully stocked. She was even told several times that the shop was closed, but didn't seem to register.
This customer fell for a string of Insane Troll Logic about the clerk being ginger and therefore immune to having their soul devoured for not giving the customer a discount. The clerk in question is blond.
This guy walked into a burger joint thinking it was a coffee shop, despite the pictures of burgers on the walls.
This woman can't tell that the coffee and doughnut shop is under construction and not operational.
"About fifty computers and the same amount of phones are not working. You have nine and a half minutes to get it working." "How many people are working in the building right now?" "There is me, two security guards, and a couple of men replacing the generators."
This woman believes that the submitter is being lazy because he wasn't allowing anyone in, failing to recognize the strong odor from the sewage that had leaked into the room.
"Good luck proving (her assault on a worker) without any police around!" Said to two uniformed police officers.
This woman failed the Spot check to notice that the bakery she was ordering a wedding cake from didn't sell pastries and failed several Listen checks when the submitter tried three times to tell her that she was asking for services that they didn't give and attempting to point her in the direction of someone who could. She never realized that she was wrong, and raised a serious fuss over it, but luckily everyone she sent to argue her case (including her daughter and her four attorneys) paid more attention than she did and upon having the situation explained to them, promptly apologized and dropped it.
Possibly a case of failing memory, but the elderly woman in "Stalking Is A Matter Of Life And Death" mistakes her own husband for a stalker.
Both the woman and her husband failed to notice that the hose is clearly labeled, a different color, and clearly doesn't fit in the car's nozzle slot properly when they decided to fill the tank with Diesel instead of regular gas, and then accuse the OP of laughing at them for not telling them that they were using the wrong type of fuel when the OP was helping other customers and can't see the pump from where the register is in any event.
This woman was donating some "clothes" to a thrift store and hands the cashier several large black trash bags. When the submitter inspects the bags he finds that they're full of grass clippings. A coworker got rid of the grass while the submitter tries to process if the woman legitimately mixed up her clothes and grass clippings.
This man is upset that a fast food store won't turn up the thermostat (which is impossible for them to do since it's controlled from another state). After threatening to come behind the counter and sort it out himself, and interpreting the manager's justified response to bring up calling the police as a threat against him, he demands the number to corporate. The manager actually gives him the store's number instead and goes into the back room to answer the subsequent call. While the submitter can hear both halves of the conversation, the angry customer is oblivious to the fact he's still talking to the same person.
The customer in "The Crutch Of The Matter" is outraged that a store greeter is sitting down and won't walk her to the product she wants, chalking it up to millennial laziness... until her own husband points out the greeter's crutches.
This man has failed to notice there's a 29th of February every four years for so long that someone telling him it's February 29th rather than March 1st triggers a boomer rant about millennials being so lazy they need to invent new days. His wife implies that a youth mostly spent tripping on acid is responsible.
Apparently this copy shop was dealing with people (even tech-savvy ones) having trouble understanding one particular step. These people are so incapable of reading printed instructions even when the step is printed in bold and there's a picture with the step circled.
This woman called the wrong number (she was looking for a vacuum parts business) and completely misses the fact that the "hold music" is just an amalgamation of pest control ads and bug jokes.
This man starts shouting and swearing at the cashier because he was unable to find the brand of laundry detergent they have on sale, claiming he has "searched this whole d*** store" and, as par for the course, blaming the cashier for the store "falsely advertising s*** you don’t have". All the time, he is just three feet away from a huge display of the stuff — something he would have known if he'd just let the cashier get a word in edgeways.
This restaurant owner is enraged that he ordered a white kitchen and instead it's all blue; the customer service representative asks if this was before or after he removed the blue protective wrap from the doors and almost immediately gets hung up on.
- Similarly, this customer failed to notice the protective wrap for over ten years.
A meta version occurs in "I'd Give You The Shirt Off My Back... But Not Literally", which was originally tagged as UK (it now just says "Europe"). The OP says that the shirt in this story was brought at a local chain, but they not only provide the price in Euros instead of pounds, but they use American clothing sizes instead of British.
This woman complains about the submitter's "fake" New Jersey accent, failing to notice that the submitter's car has New Jersey license plates and that the reason they have a New Jersey accent is that they are from New Jersey. She seems to think New Jersey only exists on television.
This female submitter spent six years of her life being mistaken for an employee about a third of the times she went shopping. Those years? Nine to fourteen, and it stopped out of nowhere around the time she turned fifteen. The first time it happened, she was in a school uniform and looking at a product intended for children. It still took her mother getting involved for the customer to believe she wasn't an employee.
This girl goes to the beach, gets mad about fish in the water, and is dumbfounded when the lifeguard says that fish live in the ocean. "Wait, this is the OCEAN???"
This woman tries to board a train from a platform undergoing renovations. She apparently didn't notice the bolted ticket kiosks and the signs explaining the situation. She took 20 minutes of convincing to leave.
The buyer for this online transaction doesn't realize they're in the same town as the seller until the delivery is halted by a snowstorm— the same snowstorm the buyer's experiencing! After realizing their mistake, they laugh it off and agree to pick up the item in person at a nearby coffee shop instead.
This mom on a plane demands that the submitter close their window blind else the light will wake their sleeping child, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that a) most other passengers' windows are also open and b) said child is awake and playing a video game.
This fast-food restaurant customer insists on standing at the register until his order arrives. When the cashier asks him to move to the waiting area, he starts ranting about [disease] panic going too far. Finally they get a word in... that he needs to move because the customer behind him needs to order, not because of anything about [disease].
“Well, ma’am, I think I finally understand why you can’t find the second floor. First of all, we don’t have a paid membership; our card is free. Second of all, that’s a [Bookstore #2] Membership card, and you’re in [Bookstore]. Finally, you’re not in Pleasanton. You’re in Pleasant Hill. Pleasanton is about a thirty-minute drive south of here. You’re not only in the wrong store; you’re in the wrong city entirely. Have a nice day!”
This customer's claim that he was shorted on tacos at the drive-thru is stymied by the simple observation "We don't have a drive-thru."
If "It’s Easy To Think The World Revolves Around You When The World Is One Street Big" is to be believed, an unnerving amount of people who called the fire department didn't know their own address – to the point where the department started a media campaign to get people to remember them.
Here we see a bizarre example of this trope crossed with They Just Don't Get It. Everyone else can plainly see three cashiers at the checkout, but the customer insists that there is no one there to the point of getting violent.
This customer thinks that the chicken she's been served with is raw… having forgotten that she's wearing pink-tinted sunglasses.
This rude customer decides to storm out and declare that he's taking his business to Home Depot instead... only for another customer to point out that this store is a Home Depot. The customer stops to curse at the heavens before continuing to storm out.
This woman set down her phone for a bit to do something, then instead of picking it back up, put her computer mouse to her ear.
This person goes crying to a scam support forum after buying what they thought were insanely cheap televisions only to receive television stands, something that the submitter - a moderator on the forum - acknowledges is a genuine scam... only not in this case, because the offers came with multiple warnings that they were only for the stands and not the TVs that the customer ignored.
In "Un-Beer-lievable Coincidence!", the submitter has a drunken frat boy thrown out of a bar for pouring his own beer. Years later, they move in with a friend and co-worker while working at another bar, and it's only when the submitter tells the story of the frat boy four years after that that they realize that their roommate was the frat boy!
This store, posts multiple posters on their storefront saying that they were curbside-only due to the COVID-19 Pandemic "to the point where the door in and out was the only thing without a poster on it." Naturally they still had to contend with multiple people who didn't see the posters and tried to force their way in. But what took the cake is this guy:
Me: “Sorry, sir. We don’t allow walk-ins anymore due to the [global health crisis]. Only phone or online orders.”
Customer: “…what [global health crisis]?”
When booking his family's return flight to New York, this father fails to realize that Heathrow isn't London's only airport, and books their tickets for a flight from Gatwick (which is 25 miles away).
This customer somehow thought that a bottle of fabric glue (which was clearly marked on the bottle) was shampoo.
This plane passenger tries to open the plane's door at 10,000 feet. Why? He thought it was the toilet.
This man refuses to believe that an automatic door is open because he didn't physically see it open, even though it's been open the whole time. For bonus points, once the submitter has humored him by closing and re-opening the doors, the customer fails to realize that it was the submitter they were complaining to on the phone (when they were both within viewing distance of each other the whole time).
This person put yoghurt on their sausages thinking it was mayonnaise.
Customer: “…Well, that’s stupid! Who has yoghurt for breakfast!” *Storms off.*
Cucumber slices do not, in my humble opinion, bear any resemblance to a two-inch-tall black ramekin full of ranch dressing sitting next to a plate. A customer mistakes the ramekin for a cucumber.
This couple is so busy bickering over the TV they plan to buy that they don't notice the "TV" is in fact a picture frame.
Two different women miss very obvious that the copier is broken, resulting in big messes. One of them even takes one of the signs off, crumples it up, and throws it away.
She looks at me covered in toner, then at the walls covered in toner from the previous worker knocking it over, and then at the unit covered in toner with the doors wide open.
Worker #2: Is the scanner not working?
This driver mixes up a parking permit with a learner's permit… which is the only certification to drive that she has.
Apparently the submitter of "Lumbering Around And Around" has to deal with multiple people who can't see the lumber… in a lumber yard.
Customer №1: Excuse me, do you sell lumber?
(I look around at all the plywood, two by fours, and trusses before looking back to him with a deadpan look.)
Submitter: Nope.
Customer №1: *nods* Thanks, I wasn’t sure. Thanks for your help.
This dunce tries to check into a hotel… that's quite plainly still under construction.
Guy: So there are no rooms available?
Submitter: The rooms don’t even have windows! Get ooooout!
This customer not only doesn't realize that the paint she's looking for is directly behind her, but would rather believe that the staff are liars than simply turn around.
The customer in "Read The Room!" fails to notice all the signs peppered within the store indicating no returns or exchanges before trying to demand a return, only for the father of the submitter, who's the owner of the family-operated shop where the story takes place, to start pointing to and counting all the signs said customer apparently neglected to notice — all while remaining where he is, at that — both before and after the customer in question leaves without managing to secure a return, just for fun.
"It was nineteen..."

Not Always Working

This employee completely misses the labels on the cabinets.
Subverted here; the signs the customer apparently missed don't exist.
Another subversion; the rotisserie trays the employee can't find... aren't where the coworker said they were. The coworker is very unhappy when she finds out.
This manager apparently failed to notice that one of their employees uses a wheelchair for three years.
A grocery store manager doesn't realize that the submitter doesn't work at her store until he points out the completely different uniform (with his company's name) that he's wearing. By that point she had already yelled at him and threatened to write him up. Oops.
In "Waitressing Should Not Be In Her Wheelhouse", a waitress and the management at a ballpark restaurant nearly throws out a couple whom the waitress has claimed stole a table meant for a party that included one person in a wheelchair... with the blatant evidence toward the couple being the party in question (most obviously that the husband is in a wheelchair) somehow flying over their heads completely until they check the reservations. The embarrassed manager comps the couple's meal as an apology and later chastises the waitress.
This store worker makes a running prank of asking coworkers to help them move stuff in a certain closet, then commenting on the smell of perfume. Every coworker assumes it's a local urban legend about a perfume-scented ghost, and not the shelves of perfume right in front of them.
The cashier in "When A Thief Is Not A Thief" becomes so focused on selling protection plans for printers (and getting the employee incentive for doing so) she fails to notice that she's not actually scanning the printers themselves, allowing the customers to leave without paying for them.
It takes one night tech a few minutes to figure out what the day techs couldn't fix in over a year: that problems with a CRT monitor are being caused by a neighboring coworker's desk fan.
This vindictive manager fires the submitter via text message during their vacation, not seeming to realize that she sent the message in a group chat. With her boss. The moron is swiftly fired and the submitter reinstated.
This woman is absolutely irate that her printer has stopped functioning... while both she and her colleague are completely oblivious to the fact that their lights, computers and phones are also off because they tripped the power with their heaters.
This restaurant is closed to customers to hold a private party... but they forgot to remove the sign afterwards, leaving them confused as to why nobody is coming in the next day until somebody asks if the sign's still valid.
The guards in "Remember: Fire BAD" have absolutely zero reaction to a visible fire on the monitors, despite one camera becoming just an orange rectangle, until someone bangs on their window. Worse still, they take a slower route at a casual pace so they can use the elevator instead of taking the stairs. All four guards (and their supervisor, who'd trained them) end up fired for their lack of urgency which resulted in thousands of dollars worth of damage.
A psychology teacher sets up an event where his students are caught shoplifting to intentionally put them through the emotional trauma (with the blessing and supervision of both the store manager and the police). Good in theory, but in practice none of the employees ever noticed, even as the students were instructed to 'steal' bigger and bigger items, up until one student managed to leave with the store's service ladder with the assistant manager holding the door open for him simply by claiming he was servicing the air conditioning and had forgotten his own ladder. The store (and the entire company, since it was the company's home location) went through extensive retraining afterwards.
A cruise ship safety instructor runs a bomb search demonstration, with one 'bomb' that everybody knows about (a box with "bomb" written on it) and one that nobody knows about (that looks slightly more real, but still obviously fake). The demonstration comes and goes, and while the first one is found, the second one isn't, and the instructor assumes this trope of the crew... until he finds the second one back on his desk in his cabin. It turns out that he'd hidden it in the area assigned to his cabin's housekeeper, the one person who'd seen it before, and who assumed it was just lost property and returned it to its owner.
This office employee never found the Print function on their computer, assumed that closing a document sent it to print, and subsequently assumed that the printer was broken when their document didn't arrive. They somehow sustain this misunderstanding for four years without asking for help, even as everybody else is able to print just fine.
This immature new hire likes to pop into the submitter's office for no reason, stumble around the place, and slur words. After a Rage Breaking Point from the submitter and a complaint to HR, it turns out the new hire thought the submitter was Scottish and was imitating a drunken Scotsman… while the submitter has a quite noticeable southern English accent. Antics like this, coupled with poor performance, would lead to the new hire getting fired.
This manager freaks out when his computer makes "horrible screechy sounds," not seeming to notice that the error sounds are the result of a stapler laid to rest on his keyboard.
Along with Failed a Nature Check, this worker from a blueberry packaging plant takes a few seconds too long to realize that the abnormally hairy, safety-negligent coworker they're talking to is actually a bear.
In "The Lights Are On, Somebody’s Home. The Lights Are Off, And…" the submitter's newly-installed air conditioning seems to be leaking, but the technicians who come to check it out can never find anything wrong. This goes on for four years, involving approximately fifteen service visits and eight separate technicians, before the submitter discovers the problem: the outlet that the air conditioning was plugged into was controlled by the basement light switch, so the condensate pump would promptly stop working and soon overflow whenever there was nobody in the room.
The submitter of "We’re All Students Of Life, But This Is Just Silly" would routinely get ticket inspectors who told them they needed a student card to travel with the student ticket, when the submitter tries to explain that he's not a student and doesn't have a student ticket.
This IT office puts up with freezing temperatures from what appears to be a faulty HVAC system for months before noticing that one of their laser printers was blowing exhaust onto the room's thermostat sensor.
This jobseeker got an AI to write his resume for him, and copypasted the answers wholesale - including the question they asked the AI in the first place.
This manager makes an anonymous terrorist threat to his own company as part of an anti-terrorism drill, and then two more when this seems to have no reaction - only to subsequently realize that he'd forgotten to update the 'Reception' contact on his phone from the last office he'd worked at.
This coworker's reports apparently always look like they were "typed during an earthquake", with characters randomly added or missing. IT eventually works out that the issue was that he'd been cleaning his keyboard with a handheld vacuum... and somehow not noticing that doing so was jostling the keys, making all the windows and word processing applications freak out each time he pressed something, nor that this made all his (otherwise competent) reports look dreadful. IT teaches him how to lock his keyboard for cleaning, and the problems stop.

Not Always Related

In her excitement, this mom, elated to be visiting her kid (the submitter) where they live now, fails to notice that at some point while she was raving about the things she and the submitter will be doing during said visit, she picked up a TV remote instead of her phone after setting it down for a moment and spoke into it for eight minutes straight.
This poster mistook a drainage ditch for the will-be basement of a new church wing, when they both happened to be built at the same time. Consequently, he missed the entire church being built for several months because he was focused on the drainage ditch. Even seeing them put grass in the ditch didn't deter him; he just wondered "Why do they want grass in the basement?" ^note
This mother cheerfully asks the submitter how their day is going… while they're frantically tearing through the fridge looking for an ice pack to cover the burn they've just received.
This woman thinks that two kids are mother and son when they're actually cousins, despite the girl being only twelve. The woman also thinks the boy looks just like a male version of the girl, even though he has straight, blond hair and she has curly, dark hair among other differences.
"Pew Pew at the Pew" revolves around a young boy (the submitter's brother) going through a cowboy phase who throws tantrums if he is made to leave the house without his cowboy guns, with his mother placating him by sending him out the door with one of his "solid chunk of plastic" guns rather than his cap guns^note. One day, however, the boy's aunt is transporting the kids to church and the boy is throwing a fit, so she just grabs one of the toy guns and throws it into the car. Unfortunately, the toy gun she grabbed was one of the cap guns rather than one of the plastic guns, so when the boy pretends to shoot at the priest when the elderly priest comes by the family's pew, there is a loud "BANG!" as one of the caps goes off, causing the poor priest to recoil in shock and clutch his chest. The noise combined with the priest's reaction causes the congregation to mistakenly think that someone had just shot the priest, causing a mass panic and the police being called. The submitter notes that their brother's cowboy phase ended on the spot.

Not Always Learning

This professor fails his listen check, having just heard that the freezer is broken and the meat inside has all gone bad, and yet still tries to ask for a turkey sandwich. To his credit, he quickly realizes his mistake and remembers what he'd been hearing.
This student fails to notice that her hand is on fire.
This professor fails to realize which sister is which when they decide to prank him. He's a psychology professor, so he later uses the incident as an example in the section of the class having to do with memory and pattern recognition.
The submitter and their friend both fail to notice their classmates in the background listening in to their conversation... or that they'd switched their conversation to Cantonese at some point.
This professor yells at his secretary over a package he is expecting — failing to notice that it is sitting on his desk. So she tapes it up in his doorway at eye-level so he can't miss it... and he just ducks under it and again demands to know where it is.
The counselors at this summer camp are incapable of telling a pair of identical twins apart — except for the OP, who always can. The others spend ages trying to work out the difference between them, and always getting it wrong, until finally the camp director asks the OP how to tell the two apart. The answer? They wear different-colored sneakers and bathing suits.
A very "yikes" example here; every Halloween an elementary school turns the building into a haunted house, and for the longest time one of the main elements was a maze wherein visitors had to run away from a chainsaw-wielding Jason Voorhees. "Jason"'s chainsaw normally had the chains removed so nobody would actually get hurt, but one year the actor forgot to remove the chain off the chainsaw... which nobody realized until in the middle of some kids' run through the school when "Jason"'s chainsaw ended up cutting clear through a wall when he pretended to swing at a kid. Unsurprisingly, "Jason" was dropped from all further haunted house events afterward.
This college professor complains that they nearly hit a large rock with their car and asks the school to remove it, which seems to have happened. Later on, a student comes in asking for the prof's help in dealing with a large snapping turtle that's wandered onto campus. Guess what the "rock"'s true identity was? And to top it off, the professor teaches biology.
Professor: I don’t have faith in [School] anymore.
Submitter: You’re the one who thought [the turtle] was a rock!
Professor: Fine. I also don’t have faith in my optometrist.

Not Always Friendly

More like "Failed a Taste Test" — this fruit fanatic failed to notice for most of their life that they had an allergic response to bananas. They thought the sour, burning sensation was how they were supposed to taste. (In fairness, if this was how bananas had always tasted for the submitter, then unless and until they actually discussed it directly — which is what happens between the submitter and their roommates in the story — they would've had no basis for comparison to know that it was abnormal.)
A dad accidentally reprimands someone else's daughter when he thought his own was about to read an age-inappropriate book at a bookstore, not seeing the girl's face until it's too late.
While giving a ride to a friend and her brother, the submitter mentions she had a baby, which the brother drily comments was obvious. The friend assumes it's a dig at the submitter's weight and jumps to her defense, but it's actually just that the back of the car is full of car seats.
A woman in an airport demands somebody get out of her way, intending to barrel her way past them if they don't. They move out of the way at the last moment... and she walks straight into the pillar they were leaning against.
A carjacker realizes too late that a stopped car by the side of a road probably wasn't a good target after all.

Not Always Hopeless

The hotel guest in "Transitioning To A New Wardrobe" notices a newly-transitioning male-to-female clerk wearing the same outfit every day, and is worried that she can't afford clothes. The guest's wife has to point out to him that the other hotel workers are also wearing the same outfit every day — it's a uniform.

Not Always Healthy

Numerous cases of doctors and nurses not reading the patient's medical record prior to or during an appointment and being shocked by a pre-existing condition that was on said record.
- This nurse tries to page the submitter numerous times over the PA system, having missed that their records mention that they're deaf.
The patient is an amputee. The doctor apparently fails to notice, since they ask if the patient has trouble walking.
This doctor was too busy looking at his phone to notice a very obvious baby bump (as in, the poster is in her third trimester with triplets) and just assumes she must be there to get her birth control prescription renewed, because why else would a woman go to an OB/GYN?
This woman was so preoccupied with her son's heart surgery that she didn't notice her missed periods until she went into labor.
Two male doctors at a children's hospital are alarmed by the appearance of round solid shapes in a little girl's X-ray, assuming them to be tumors and discussing when and how to operate. A passing female technician immediately realizes that the round solids are... beads on the patient's hair tie, which she was wearing during the X-ray. One of the doctors admits his daughter wears the same style of hair tie, but still didn't realize the beads would show up on the film.
These nurses clearly need to check patients' charts more closely, as they somehow managed to mix up the pregnant, 25-year-old poster with the 102-year-old dementia patient in the bed opposite, and very nearly injected her with said dementia patient's medication (which could have had who-knows-what consequences for her pregnancy).
This nurse berates the submitter for asking them to retrieve an out-of-reach lunch menu, and tells the submitter to stand up and get it themselves. The submitter then reveals the reason they were in hospital — they'd just had a leg amputation, so no, they couldn't stand up.
This teen had experienced difficulty breathing and constant choking sensations for years before finally telling off the doctor who keeps dismissing it as "anxiety". They go to a new doctor, who takes one look at their throat and makes an appointment for the patient to get their massively enlarged tonsils removed. End of problem.
This doctor looks at the patient's blood test, diagnoses them with hyperthyroidism (overproductive thyroid gland), and recommends radiation or surgery. The patient asks if they should first reduce the hormone supplements they were already on for hypothyroidism (unproductive thyroid gland), prompting a Double Take.
The nurse for a tonsillectomy calls the patient's mother to verify that the patient has not eaten anything for the past twelve hours. The mother replies that the patient is a grown woman and no longer lives with her parents — the nurse assumed the patient for a tonsillectomy would be a child and mistakenly committed a major privacy violation.
In which thirty years of stomach problems, examined by multiple doctors, turns out to be lactose intolerance. When the submitter asked to be tested for that, their general doctor complained about fake diagnoses from the internet, raising the possibility they weren't looking for the condition because they didn't think it was real.
This nurse demanded a female patient take a pregnancy test before her 20-week ultrasound to check on her pregnancy^noteIt's a girl. The patient just glared the nurse out of the room.
People at this hospital miss the fact that the submitter had a partial hysterectomy, and thus no longer has a uterus. First, a medical assistant blames conditioned behaviour for making this mistake, but when the submitter leaves, they find that they still gave her a pregnancy test anyway!
This cat's owner somehow failed to notice her elderly cat was dead.^note
Submitter: How is it that at no point during shoving this poor animal into the carrier, driving it over, pulling it out, and so forth, did it not occur to you that maybe this was no longer a living creature?
Woman: Well… he’s usually a very floppy cat.

Not Always Legal

"Ma'am, I've patrolled this street hundreds of times before, and I've never seen a single deer." Cue the woman being stopped for driving under the speed limit pointing out the doe that's standing twenty feet away, staring at them.
"Are you aware that this is a bus lane?!" "Are you aware that this is a bus?"
Emergency services can't find a severe traffic accident on a street that is LITERALLY VISIBLE FROM THE POLICE STATION, and near a lot they frequently ticket bad drivers at. The operator is very confused and implies that none of them ever learned the street's name, so they went in random (wrong) directions looking for a street they already knew very well, delaying treatment of the injured.
This airport security guard tells the submitter that as long as the person they're picking up isn't present, they will have to move their vehicle, seemingly not noticing that said person was putting his luggage in the car right behind him.
This couple gets a ticket from a red light camera, despite the light being green — one of many false tickets issued that particular day by that camera. The ending implies that the camera in question is not only still issuing false red light tickets in the present day, but a neighboring township installed similar cameras from the same company.
"Who Knows Traffic Law Better? Cops Or Driving Instructors?" features a policeman pulling over a car clearly marked as belonging to a driving school, and asking the student for their license and registration.
Discussed in "The Legend of the Lego Lifter", where a serial LEGO thief manages to steal hundreds if not thousands of dollars in LEGO products. The fact that the thief was a minor who was committing his crimes when he was supposed to be at swimming lessons makes the submitter wonder how his parents never noticed the vast amounts of LEGO he was bringing home, or the fact that his towel and trunks were likely dry.
This woman dresses up as Marge Simpson for Halloween and accuses a group of Jack Sparrow cosplayers stole her purse. She has to have it pointed out to her that her purse is stuck in her wig.
This sixteen-year-old, after a failed attempt at getting beer, stuffs his ID in his underwear and doesn't notice for some time, assuming that the submitter took it.

Not Always Right

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