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My Purest Heart For You (Probably)

by Dan Vallerand

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1.
This may be hard to accept But just relax and let it soak in I.. am cooler than your boyfriend! I've got the best moves and the grooves I slide to and fro around the room Everyone always wants a piece of me I got that swagger, I can freak and flow Watch me flop up and down this floor If your boy thinks he's sexy and he knows it He ain't got nothing on me, girl! Cuz I am cooler than your boyfriend! Some people say I'm cocky Some people say I'm crazy But that's two great things he don't have So what makes you think he's cooler than me? What makes you think he's cooler than me? You better believe he ain't cooler than me! I've mastered all the finest games That's Kirby 64 and Doom 3 I'm always on top, I'll never stop I'm coming around the edge of glory You know I'll never ever, ever, ever be boring You better get on board or you'll miss out! I believe I'm the Golden Boy Laid that claim long before it was cool Take a look at the man you're with Then toss him in the trash, girl! I'm your keeper! And I am cooler than your boyfriend! You can't deny what you're feeling Girl, I know what you're thinking Drop the zero and get with the hero, baby You can't prove me wrong, go on, I dare ya Can't prove me wrong, go on, I dare ya Won't prove me wrong, go on, I dare ya I am cooler than your boyfriend I am sexier than your boyfriend I am wackier than your boyfriend And I am cooler than your boyfriend! (SWAG...)
2.
I know of someone With a heart whose love is innocent Patiently waiting for the day When the heavens up above Shine down upon her and reveal affection personified For it's true There are a million and one good people In the world today And it is my own hope That what they revealed to her is me Yes, I know of someone With a heart whose love is innocent She's the kind of girl who walks in beauty And with each step she lights the stars For all the world to see And I hope somewhere out there We shall come together for a moment And share it together, aww yeah A moment so tender and warm Even in the cold and freezing winter This love will prevail I know of someone With a heart whose love is innocent Yes, I know of someone With a heart whose love is innocent
3.
Valentine 03:50
I bring my love a valentine every year Now it seems to me she won't give me her love, oh dear I gave my love my only love The kind I wouldn't give to just anyone But she threw it away and broke my heart It's got me going out of my mind Don't know what I'm gonna do Don't even know how I made myself so blue And I don't even know why I did it all for her But I bring my love a valentine every year Gotta try and break through so she'll hear Maybe if I'm lucky she'll be in my arms again But I seriously doubt this will ever happen to me Cuz now she's lost to some other guy Don't know what I'm gonna do Can't get used to being without her And I don't even know how I... How can I go on? Yet I bring my love a valentine every year Even though I know my heart's broken, how I fear I bring my love everything She could want under the sun But she will never ever love me again Still I bring my love a valentine every year I bring my love a valentine every year I bring my love a valentine every year I bring my love a valentine every year...
4.
Not Worth It 04:12
He sat on the couch Thinking it all over How he tried for one long year To make things right Did she lead him on? Did he simp too hard? Where's the disconnect? Where was the love? Things fell apart too soon Just like they always do And the soggy taco of romance Never tells a lie Did he fall too soon? Did she even know? When will they both understand? Oh, things will never work out Yet his heart screams yes But his mind says don't Love is a labyrinth That won't let you go And what can he do If he can't make it through? Just write another Sad One Y'allready knew And she walks through life Always having a feeling Something ain't right Was the right choice made? Her mind says she did But deep in her heart she felt Just another twinge of what could've been Were the feelings mutual? Will things ever change? And in five years, Will they still know each other's name? But to love one another Is to take care of their stars And when that's taken from you Doesn't it feel like life's gone too far? The cycle will repeat itself Until they both find the right lover Until they both stop hurting each other And maybe someday they'll both understand... When you give the sun and the stars To someone who ain't worth it They'll lead you, cheat you and bleed you And make you feel worthless And it's just not right If every day and night You have to reach and scratch Just for their light Don't give the sun and the stars To someone you know ain't worth it It's just not worth it It's just not worth it It's just not worth it

about

This is a small collection of love songs in various contexts, named after what the second half of End of Evangelion usually transliterates as in English. To differentiate it from the metal band of the same name, there's where the "probably" came from! Are these songs charming or are they harrowing? You'll find out... probably!

The first one is the "funny" love song, the second is the "romantic/Beatlesque" love song, the third is the "tragic" love song, and the fourth is the "complex/Dylanesque" love song. It was a hastily thought up idea to cobble up these ones into its own collection because I had just finished touching up an old cover for Toadstool Records' "777 Love Songs" compilation and thought it was a good idea at the time, and I figured I could get it done within a week. Predictably, life and allergies that really mess up your ears happened and so getting it out on or during Valentine's Day/Weekend was a bust... but at least this was still done in the same month!

Plus, when it comes to a few of these songs... like, I'm just getting older and I feel it's best to get these out before I'm in my forties. Despite what my perfectionist side says, I have sat on some of these long enough and I may never put them in their "right" place, so here we go. The "Boyfriend" remake, for example, was supposed to be on the 2k25 Album, but I replaced it with something else once the vision became clearer. Anyways, please enjoy these four love songs.

This EP is not part of the Moldybread Masterworks, but you can view it as a companion of sorts to the summer 2023 EP.

credits

released February 25, 2025

All songs written by Dan Vallerand, and were produced/engineered by me also except for #2 - interns at Modesto Sound in 2012 helped engineer it and Lucky Lew produced it, if memory serves correctly.

Cover art commissioned from my significant other, Knickknack PJ!

Special thanks and Tom Hanks to Micah Van Zandt for letting me record loud noises at his place, to Modesto Sound for letting me record "A Heart" there once, and to the people I crushed on/dated that inspired me to write the songs that aren't the funny one.

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